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For the Guide to Food and Drinks, click here.

Recreational Area
Maltese Falcon Bar & Grill
Includes a seating area, bar, kitchen, freezer room, and a theatre for performances!
Obvious exits South to Starboard Primary Hallway, north-west to the Theatre, north to maintenance, east to Kitchen
Purpose Host barfights
Access level
Noteworthy contents A piano, Booze-O-Mat, four tables for 4x customers and one table for 3x
Clearance Everyone
Security level Low
Style Bar/Theatre
Balance Requirements No major balance requirements
Other Notes
Jobstemp.png Locations on yogstation

Welcome to the Maltese Falcon Bar & Grill!


The bar is located on the eastern side (starboard corridor) of the station, and is adjacent to the Kitchen. It is the spawn point and workplace of Pun Pun the Monkey (rip deempisi) and the Bartender. Seating is plentiful. So are distractions like arcade and slot machines.

The bar door and back room all require Bar access. It contains a Booze-O-Mat and all the tools the Bartender needs to mix and serve drinks. There is also a back room where beer kegs are stored and suspicious activities take place.

Medical Doctors come here to steal every last drop of the Bar's booze. They will stay there until all of the Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters are completely chugged away.

By default the bar's sign will choose a random name from the list, but the bartender can choose whatever image he wants to be displayed.



This is the starting location for the trustworthy Clown and the shy but competitive Mime. Requires Theatre access to attain entrance, which of course the clown and mime start off with (if they didn't the station would be a better place).

The theatre stage has a random instrument in its corner at the start of a shift. You can annoy the shit out of everyone play awesome music with it and raise the morale of your allies during battles or win the heart of your soon-to-be lady with a lovely serenade. The piano's companion, the violin, can be found in the dorms.

Backstage there is a mirror to look pretty and an AutoDrobe vending machine that dispenses costumes. For example, you can vend a pirate costume (arr scurvy again), or a wizard costume (MAGIC MISSLE!!1). The theatre is a facade -- nobody will ever host a play or god forbid, concert on the stage. They will, however, steal any kitty ears and rabbit ears possible as well as any costume pieces lying about.

Jobstemp.png Locations on Boxstation (YogBox)
General Recreational Medical Logistics Science Engineering Security Command Upkeep Outside