User:Helpful Herbert/Cook

SERVICE STAFF
Cook	Access: Kitchen, Morgue Additional Access: Hydroponics, Bar Difficulty: Easy Supervisors: Head of Personnel Colleagues: Bartender, Botanist Duties: Make food, nag at hydroponics to grow you stuff, make meat from the odd lifeforms found in the morgue Guides: Guide to food Quote: Are you ready for a one way trip to the grinder? No? Well here we go!

Kitchen

Who am I?

You are the less-alcoholic half of the Maltese Falcon. You cook food, blend veggies and fruits, grind bodies for meat, stick monkey and xenos onto meat hooks for butchering. And kill people who mess with you, with your kitchen knife and kung-fu. Cooking can be more challenging and entertaining than it sounds, provided hydroponics is supplying you properly. Otherwise the crew is bound to get scurvy. No matter whether you do or do not like talking with people, this job is perfect for you. People will ignore you by default, but you can always talk to your customers or serve meals in the bar. You can even make menus for people to order food ("I'll have two number 9s...").

Tools of the trade

Your Workplace

• Tables: In the middle to prepare food on. You can't flatten dough on the floor.
• A Counter: To put food on. You can close the shutters via button if you want to crush people trying to climb in you need to leave for a while.
• A backroom: To the north behind the counter, with all kinds of useful stuff. You get limited maintenance access behind that as well.
• Your neighbours are the Bartender to the west in his Kitchen and the Botanist in the east in Hydroponics.
• Pass-throughs to the Kitchen and Hydroponics, which makes taking and exchanging items a lot easier.

Your Equipment

Personal Equipment

• Rolling Pin: For flattening dough
• Kitchen Knife: For butchering, self-defense and slicing all kinds of things
• Wetstone: To sharpen your knife for more damage
• Cookbooks: Looking up basic mechanics and recipes. Frequently end up getting fryed.

Machines

• All-In-One-Grinder: Juicing, grinding and mixing
• Microwaves: Heating food
• Gibber: Harvesting food from dead people
• Dinnerware vending machine: For cooking supplies like knifes, bowls and glasses. Tinker with it to get even stronger security risks knives!
• ChefDrobe vending machine: For clothing
• Ice Cream Vat: Your best contribution to fighting the heated arguments.
• Processor: Making meatballs, spaghetti amongst other things
• Smart Fridge: The botanist will put your vegetables / fruits in here.
• Condimaster: Separate and bottle your grinded ingredients
• Fryer: For frying the everliving shit out of anything that should not be edible.
• Meatspike: To prevent your any struggling while butchering
• Cooking-Oil-Tank: Refilling your fryer
• Foodcart: Going around the station serving food. Rarely used.

Ingredients / Food

• Random box of ingredients in your inventory
• Bottle of universal enzyme on the kitchen table
• A box of donuts and a box of donk-pockets (which you should warm up with the microwave first) to give you a breather to prepare your first food
• Two fridges with basic cooking ingredients: Eggs, milk, soy milk, flour, sugar, rice and a box of enzymes for cheesemaking.
• A fridge with meat and animal-cubes. Washing the animal-cubes in a sink will rehydrate them into living animals, which can be milked and slaughtered.

Other

• Sink: Unlimited water, baby!
• Pete, your Pet-goat: Ready to murder you for milking / slaughtering

Ingredient Boxes

Besides the basics that your kitchen is initially stocked with, you will start out with a randomly selected box of less common ingredients in your backpack. The box should contain enough ingredients for you to get started before your botany buddies ignore you and smoke weed can provide you with a steady supply of fresh produce.

Box	Contents
Fiesta	1 tortilla, 2 corn, 2 soybeans, 2 chili
Italian	3 tomatoes, 3 meatballs, 1 bottle of wine
Vegetarian	2 carrots, 1 eggplant, 1 potato, 1 apple, 1 corn, 1 tomato
American	2 potato, 2 tomato, 2 corn, 1 meatball
Fruity	2 apples, 2 oranges, 1 lemon, 1 lime, 1 watermelon
Sweets	2 cherries, 2 bananas, 1 chocolate bar, 1 cocoa pod, 1 apple
Delights	2 sweet potatoes, 2 blue cherries, 1 vanilla pod, 1 cocoa pod, 1 berry
Grains	3 oats, 1 wheat, 1 cocoa pod, 1 honeycomb, 1 poppy seed
Carnivore	1 bear meat, 1 carp fillet, 1 xeno meat, 1 corgi meat, 1 meatball, 1 spider meat, 1 spider eggs
Exotic	2 carp fillet, 2 soybeans, 2 cabbage, 1 chili
Wildcard	7 randomly selected from (duplicates allowed): chili, tomato, carrot, potato, sweet potato, apple, chocolate bar, cherry, banana, cabbage, soybeans, corn, plump helmet, chanterelle

Getting things done - Cooking and You

The Basics

Cooking is mostly done by putting ingredients on a table and see what you can cook with it through crafting (click the crafting button in the bottom-middle-right of the screen). Certain types of dishes also allows you to make custom food (pies, cakes, ...) by directly adding ingredients on the dish. You will at times need the processor or microwave, a beaker, a knife and a rolling pin to prepare some raw ingredients (e.g. mix flour & water to get dough), check the cook book on the kitchen table for more info.

Use the microwave to cook raw meats and raw eggs. Trying to microwave other food will make it dirty and unusable until it gets a spray of space cleaner. And if a microwave gets broken, you need to use a tool box set to repair it (the tools, don't smack it more). The processor and the blender are much more forgiving. The processor will only take things that it recognizes and the blender will blend any food item (granted, you might not get anything interesting out of it). You also have a ChemMaster to separate and identify anything you produce with your blender.

See the Guide to food for a list of recipes. Most recipes are completed by crafting; place all your ingredients next to you, open the crafting window and look through the food categories.

To serve your food, you can use the table that faces the main hallway, serve patrons in person with your food cart, or even add your superior creations to vending machines. Theoretically, you can work with the Bartender to serve patrons in the bar, but most chefs don't.

This is a Knife, and That is a Rolling Pin

The knife and the rolling pin on your table are invaluable in making food. You can cut cheese very easy with the knife, slice foods like pizza and cakes, and prepare other foods (test what you can cut with it). Some animals can be butchered with the knife as well. The rolling pin, meanwhile, is used to flatten certain ingredients, such as dough.

Other than that, they are also weapons! The knife, in particular, is an excellent melee weapon .Tinker with your vending machines, and you can get even stronger security risks knives!

Hydroponics

Your neighbor, hydroponics, is a necessity for you to make most recipes. Take a gander at the window early on and see if there are any botanists working, and if there aren't any inside, wait a bit for one to be sent on the arrivals shuttle or go ask the HoP for botany access so that you can grow your own plants. They will most of the time grant you access because hydroponics isn't a high-risk area. Good things to ask the botanists for to start with are wheat, tomatoes, and potatoes. These three plants are used commonly in recipes, and after you ask botany for those you can ask them for other plants when they need to be used in a recipe. Please note that hydroponics has direct access to your smart fridge, and will often times load crop into it without saying a word. Check it from time to time to see if the hippies have left you anything.

If no one is working botany and you're too lazy to stop by the HoP, the Garden has some basic produce available (most usefully, wheat) and the ability to make more seeds, assuming no one's ransacked it.

The Best Meat Pies on Station

You can grab monkeys and force them onto your meatspikes to slaughter them instantly. Clicking on a meatspike with a monkey will remove their skin first, then provide a slab of meat for up to five times. Monkeys can be produced by adding water to a monkey cube; monkey cubes can be produced with the biogenerator or ordered in a supply crate.

Some critters can be gibbed with your knife for meat, but they need to be dead first. Try not to kill Pete, as it is able to eat Space vines if alive.

Surgery can allow you to remove brains and appendixes from some lifeforms. You can use these organs as ingredients in a few recipes.

Your gibber is EXCESSIVELY useful during long rounds where you are feeding a lot of people. If you can't get Pun Pun or get the quartermaster to get you a monkey crate, you can head off to the morgue. That's right, the cook has morgue access to grab spent bodies and drag them to the gibber. Examining dead bodies can tell you more about them: suicides, literally brainless bodies and bodies with their souls departed cannot be cloned, so gibbing them is usually okay. Your gibber can only accept unclothed bodies, so remove any clothing or other objects the body may have on them.

Homeopathy

All food contains the universal ingredient called "Nutriment." It's what nourishes you and heals your injuries when you eat. Although food might not heal you as quickly as the doctor can (or from the more exotic dangers of the station), it can often heal for more over time. Blending down a bunch of donuts and burgers into a nice nutriment shake can be just the right pick-me-up after having the shit beat out of you.

Healthy foods also contain "Vitamin" which heals you better and can strengthen your metabolism against viruses and harmful chemicals as well as increase the effect of medicine on you.

You can put your healthy food inside snack vending machines so players have more food choices.

How to be useful

• Make sure there's always some food on your counter, in case a hungry crewmember comes by
• You have some minor recipes that can heal, basically warm donk-pockets and anything with vitamins
• Make sure to bring food to the emergency shuttle

Preparing yourself

Before the shift

• Often, there will be no ingredients from the botanists as he is too busy making drugs / deathnettles. You have about 40 (crafted) recipes you can do without any help (that is, if you get your hands on 'someones' monkey). You should know a few to get food on the table fast (like fried eggs) that do NOT include burgers, like:
  • Fried Eggs
  • Eggs Benedict
  • A wheel of Swiss Cheese
  • Hotdog
  • Cheese Cake
  • Grilled Cheese Sandwich
  • Butter Noodles
  • Spaghetti and Meatballs
• Set some culinary goals. Always cooking the same stuff gets boring, try something new. Be sure to ask hydroponics ahead of time so they can grow your requested plants
• Learn about unlikely but awesome items like cak (Cat/Cake-hybrid) and eggdog (Egg/Dog Hybrid). That way you know when to adjust your plans if you are lucky enough to get some exotic ingredients
• Know your main basic recipes by heart or make a note

Short summary of basic recipes

• Cake Batter = 15u Flour + 15u Eggyolk + 5 Sugar
• Dough = 15u Flour + 10 Water
• Cheese Mix = Mix cheese-specific ingredients

Start	Steps	Product	Used for
Cake Batter		Plain Cake	Cakes
Cake Batter		Plain Pie	Pies
Cake Batter		Pastry Base	Pastries
Dough		Bread	Bread and Sandwiches
Dough		Pizzabread	Pizza
Dough		Bun	Burgers
Dough		Boiled Spagetti	Pasta
Cheese Mix		Cheese Wheel	Cheese wedges and all kinds of recipes
Meat slab		Steak	All kinds of recipes
Meat slab		Cutlet	All kinds of recipes
Meat slab		Metball	All kinds of recipes
Meat slab		Bacon	All kinds of recipes

Your first minutes after shift-start

1. Max your Suit Sensors
2. Warm up the donk-pockets in the microwave and put them on the counter
3. Get a knife and sharpen it with your personal wetstone
4. Check your personal ingredientbox and put the content on the table / in the fridge. It might inspire you to try something exotic
5. Get 2-3 Glasses and put them on the tables. I prefer to have one with 5u Universal Enzyme to make cheese anytime handsfree
6. Ask the bartender about 'borrowing' his monkey. He will be quite relieved to get rid of that annoying animal. Giving him some milk for his drinks could strike you a deal, too
7. Tell the botanist your ingredient-wishes for the shift
8. Start cooking, there will be starving people standing in line quite soon

Tipps

What mistakes to avoid

• Avoiding Death by Irony: Close your door behind you when you enter the kitchen. If you leave your door open when you come in, a murderer can run in and quickly stab you with a pen, take your ID, and throw you in your own gibber before you can say "BORK BORK BORK!" If people are trying to break in regardless, close the shutters over the tables.
• Don't put your ingredients on the floor if you mind mice eating them.
• Do not use dirty microwaves as it can fail recipes. Request a janitor / some soap if possible. This is why have two microwaves to begin with

Neat little things

• Combining Blood and Synthflesh will generate meat in the reaction - Chemistry can sometimes be your greatest supplier.
• Kitchen knives and cleavers can be stored on your Apron, and knives are small enough to fit in your pockets as well.
• Don't waste Pun-Pun/monkies by instantly tossing them on a spike! With your cleaver, a knife and some tools, you can easily perform ghetto surgery for that sweet brain cake.
• You can color eggs with crayons.
• You can make colored burgers by adding a crayon of your choice to the ingredients.
• You can put a tray on your belt. They can carry up to 7 items of tiny or small size, making them more versatile (but bulkier) than toolbelts or fanny packs.
• Make some snacks (pies / cakes etc.) for the barkeeper to put on his counter, preferably fitting the bar-design. Makes him and his guests happy.
• Remember, that you can milk cows / goats with a bucket (The botanist has a few). A wooden bucket works as well
• If you are suspicious of the botanist (He is growing poison- / deathberries and other suspicous plants), you can do some drug-checking by grinding ingredients and analysing them in your condimaster. You can grind multiple plants at once, as long as you know what irregularities to look for. That is Space Drugs and any kind of Toxin like Cyanide. If your tests are positive remove all possibly contaminated food from the counter and silently alarm security / the AI. Remember that growing dangerous plants alone is no evidence, but a poisonous apple in the smart fridge most likely is
• Kill that goat in your backroom before it does
• Don't forget the icecream-van in the backroom if you run out of ingredients
• When you are out of every ingredient you can start putting ingredients (like apples and cooked steaks) on the counter as a last resort
• Massproducing pies and leaving tomatos / bananas on the counter will make the clown happy. Be careful not to get lynched though
• Sometimes the botanists will drop a bit of everything in the fridge. With your grinder and condimaster you can do some basic chemistry like extractíng uranium from glowberries for the bartender to use in drinks.
• If people want to poison your food, they will take it, poison it somewhere quiet and bring it back. Be wary about people putting food on your counter
• Don't forget, that you can grind plants for ingredients. Cherries, Grapes, Sugarcane, Whitebeet and Sweet Potatoes will give you sugar for example
• The gibs, which decorate your floor after slaughtering can be scooped up with a glass. They can then be used by the chemist to synthesize bars of soap

How to help a Cook

Sick of eating nothing but burgers and donuts? Well here is your chance to help:

• Assistants
  • A crayon box. Colored burgers are still burgers though...
  • Dead mice / animals / people, unless they are part of an open crime investigation. Try to bring them alive or you will incur the wrath of the evervigilant Janitor
  • Metal rods for kebabs
  • 4no raisins if the chef intends to make some cereal / raisin-cookies (ask first)
  • Ask the chef if he would like you run some errands (like delivering food) for him. He might even give you a tray / his foodcart / icecream vat for this purpose - you will look way more legitimate than any assistant trying to make security eat some suspicious donuts he brought.
• Bartender
  • Drinks for relaxing while making pastries. Drinking on the job has never been so sweet
  • A Cakehat for Birthday cake
• Botanists
  • Flour, at least 3 bags
  • Animal cubes, when the cook is really lusting for meat
  • Milk, about 1-2 bottles
  • Sugar, 1-2 bags, depending on how many cakes the chef likes to make
  • Bucket for milking his goat / cow
  • Plantbag for hauling lots of ingredients from the fridge to the table. You might need to explain this.
  • Ask the cook whether he intends to use a lot of eggs for pastries. If yes, make it your goal to mutate an egg-plant from an eggplant
  • Steelcaps (Mutate from Towercaps) give metalrods for kebabs
  • Craft ingredients with help of your biogenerator
    • Cheese, by putting 5 Universal Enzyme in a container and filling it with milk (very efficient and fast)
    • Dough, by mixing water and flour in large quantities
    • Grind / Juice his ingredients as needed, the best you can do is grind some cherry jelly for him
  • Ingredient-plants, ordered by total amount of relevant recipes (ca.):
    • Tomato: 17
    • Corn: 13
    • Cherry: 9
    • Soybean: 8
    • Cabbage: 8
    • Carrot: 8
    • Apple: 7
    • Banana: 7
    • Chocolate: 7
    • Bunch of berries: 6
    • Potato: 6
    • ... so for the love of god, give that cook some tomatos
• Chemists
  • Some sulfuric acid for soysauce. If you don't trust the chef, have him give you the required soymilk and mix it yourself
• Cargo
  • Surprise the chef with a Vegetables Crate / Fruit Crate / Food Crate if there are no botanists. Only order a pizza crate if the cook is braindead as it is somewhat insulting his skills
• R&D
  • Upgrade microwaves, doubling the amount of food they produce! On long shifts with lots of people this will prove invaluable, assuming all the scientists haven't set themselves on fire.

Traitoring - A Meal to Kill For

Traitor Cook is pretty damned fun, especially if you get some some items to knock people out like the crossbow or the sleepy pen. You can even take syringes full of nasty chemicals and inject them into food items. The best part about being a traitor cook is the cleanup; seeing a cook dragging a locker with a dead body in it is pretty par for the course, so no one will question you when you toss your target's body in the gibber. If you have a compatriot in Hydroponics, they can grow you some poisonous shrooms which you can then refine with the Blender and ChemMaster. Don't forget your knife and rolling pin! In short, go full Sweeney Todd and make delicious meat pies out of people. You can also feed fat people the mint, which gibs them.

• A decent amount of food you can cook will actually cause damage. Some notable examples include:
  • Fish & Chips, Fish Fingers, and Carp Sashimi are all fairly toxic.
  • Enchiladas and Nettle Soup are both potentially deadly if consumed in full, dealing huge amounts of burn damage. However, nettle soup also contains omnizine which may heal the damage.
  • Amanita Jelly, Jelly Burgers, and even just raw Slime Jelly is incredibly lethal in mere moments, making it not a bad option for some force-feeding.
• When you gib a human, the meat is marked with their name (Adeline Lacon-Meat), so be careful not to leave it lying around, or people might start to ask questions.
• You can stash items in bread and a few other foods, so you can facilitate prison breaks by sending up tools, an emag, or even a small weapon to your buddies in the Prison Wing.