|Access: Gift Shop|
Additional Access: N/A
Difficulty: Very Easy
Supervisors: Head of Personnel
Duties: Keep your gift shop stocked, sell goods to Tourists and the unwary, sell funny costumes to the Clown
Quote: Genuine Roman Sandals! Yours for the taking, only 50 Credits! Did I say 50? I meant 15!
Bare minimum requirements: Don't forget you have a shop, it exists, and you are supposed to be managing it.
As a Clerk, your main responsibility is to staff the station's Gift Shop, and to attempt to sell overpriced miscellaneous objects to those that stop at your snake-oil stall.
Your trinkets come mainly from the vending machines, and you are advised to familiarize yourself with your stock, from the various musical instruments to fake weaponry to gaudy outfits and clothing. Your stock will tend to be quite popular with less professional individuals, such as the Clown.
Most of your shift will be spent idly staring into space, or playing with your pet goat, Spiffles. However, there are ways to enhance this experience. Hacking your vending machines will give you a wide array of more expensive, and more exciting, items. Putting in a few requests with Engineering could get you tools and materials to redecorate your shop and make it more appealing to passerby's. A careful trade deal with various other Departments can net you new stock to proudly place on display and hock off to unsuspecting buyers. Additionally, you can collaborate with your supervisor, the Head of Personnel, to push larger, more complicated trades and partnerships with other parts of the station.
Bored at Your Post
What to do, what to do? All this time and nobody at your shop. Well, come up with some fun things! A good tip for all Clerks is to get a PROVE PDA Cartridge, as it will allow you to message all through your PDA. It is the one that all the lawyers start with, and the HoP can also give you one from his PTech vending machine. Now, with your newfound power, you can start coming up with things. A Clerk can either be the most boring job in the station or the most fun, it just matters who plays it. The Clerk is generally a blank slate for gimmicks, fun, and roleplay. Come up with something fun to do to bring people to your shop! Your shop is your own, so you can change it however you please (It is strongly advised that gift shops such as Boxstation's, Deltastation's and Metastation's be rearranged so that the display shelves and counters are placed behind the register, as your items on display can and will be easily stolen). Examples for gimmicks are:
StealKindly ask for goods from other departments, such as slime extracts and exotic plants to name a few.
- If you are an asshole, steal all the tools from tool storage. The grey tide will grow angry, yet they will be powerless without tools. Engineering and Security will be thankful for your efforts against the minimum wage menace. NOTE: You probably should not do this unless you have a death wish because you are pretty much making yourself a target for a beating.
- Set up an art store to sell all your beautiful drawings of nude xenomorphs. The Curator would be proud.
- Sell 'Lootboxes' full of 1 credit holochips and sell them for 100 each. It will give shoppers a sense of pride and accomplishment, trust me!
- Kidnap department pets and force the heads to pay a ransom to have their precious cat/dog/parrot/facehugger back. NOTE: This may result in a much worse beating as Heads of Staff have telescopic batons. Stealing Ian will probably get you actually killed.
- Revs? Sell sunglasses. Slings? Sell flashlights. Blob? Sell IED's. Use the current climate of the round to your advantage, and make hella bank off of people's paranoia and fear of not being safe at all times. This is NOT an excuse to Powergame, only sell things when people start panicking on the radio. You should usually only sell gear to the crew on team antagonist rounds as the whole crew is usually needed to fight the threat. For a traitor round, let sec deal with it.
- You can make Science hate you by asking for access to maint and the service hall, going to the techfab in the service hall, ejecting all the precious metals, and selling it for a high price. This is almost guaranteed to get you fed to a slime / debrained and put in an MMI. Whoops, shouldn't have stolen shit!
As a Traitor Clerk, your options are rather limited. You are all but an Assistant, with a marginal amount of access. However, many people will look completely past the Clerk, so this position affords you some valuable anonymity. Additionally, setting up the right trade deals with different Departments (if they give you the time of day) can also net you various supplies and tools without arousing too much suspicion. The only limit is your creativity.