User:Helpful Herbert/Sandbox

SERVICE STAFF
Bartender	Access: Bar, Weapon Permit Additional Access: Hydroponics, Kitchen, Morgue Difficulty: Easy Supervisors: Head of Personnel Colleagues: Cook Duties: Serve booze to everyone! Mix drinks Guides: Guide to drinks Quote: Oh, the uranium is just for drinks. Yes, the radium as well.

Who am I?

You are one half of the Maltese Falcon. The essence of being a bartender is not just poisoning your guest's liver with all kinds of tasty drinks - there is a fair bit of talking, too. So if you feel antisocial, this job might be not the best fit for you. But hey, why not try something new once in a while?

Tools of the trade

The Bar

Your Workplace

There are a couple of different themed layouts for your bar, which come with different gadgets. They all have a few things in common:

• A barsign. Always be sure to set a name for your fine establishment by clicking on it
• A counter that protects separates you from your guests.
• A backroom to the north behind the counter, with all kinds of useful stuff. You get limited maintenance access behind that as well.
• Your neighbours are the Clown / Mime in the Theatre to the northwest, and the Cook to the east.
• A pass-through to the Kitchen, so don't be afraid to ask the cook for some meals for your guests.

Equipment

Personal Equipment

• Armor Vest: Don't underestimate the value of this in blocking damage
• Shotgun: For defending yourself and guests
  • Your shotgun is double-barrelled. It can hold two shells at once and fire both in quick succession. Clicking it in your hand will break the shotgun, causing the shells inside to fall to the floor. It starts loaded with two beanbag shells, and you start with extra ones in your bag.
  • You can get more shells using cargo's autolathe. Lethal shells (red) do sixty brute damage, beanbag shells (green) do ten brute damage and knock people down, darts do five toxin damage, and blank (white) shells do nothing. There is also incendiary shells.
  • The Double-Barreled Shotgun can be sawed-off to fit in your pocket via a Circular Saw (Try Robotics, Cargo's Autolathe, Medbay or one of those medical-cyborgs!). Be sure to unload it before applying the saw, unless you enjoy buckshot to the face.
  • R&D can produce Stun Shells that act as a Taser Electrode, if putting holes in people isn't your style.
• A shaker for mixing drinks, though most bartenders just mix straight into the glass
• A couple of damp rags for cleaning, which are next to useless. Just call the Janitor or ask chemistry for some soap.

Machines

• Booze-O-Mat, for all kinds of bottled fluids you might need for mixing / to hand out. Your source of drinking-glasses.
• Booze-Dispenser, your alcohol-synthesizer. It is very likely that you will kill the entire crew before running out of energy for this.
• Soda-Dispenser, your non-alcohol-synthesizer. What would [[Whiskey Cola be without Cola?
• All-In-One-Grinder, your tool to grind and juice special ingredients. Always make sure not to hand out its beaker if you intend to keep using it

Other

• A beer locker, beer keg and a clothing-related vending machine inside your storage room.
• Your loyal assistant, Pun Pun. Has a tendency to push people around, be abused and get harvested for meat by the Cook.

Getting things done - Tending to your bar

You have a whole bunch of spirits in your handy Booze-O-Mat vending machine, with which to mix all manner of drinks. People come to the bar to relax and have fun, so don't expect to get yelled at for having to look up a drink's recipe. Difficulty is minimal, but bar fights can get deadly if your most valued patrons are too drunk to intervene. People also love to murder people having a good time in the bar, especially if you start serving Beepsky Smashes.

How to be useful

Apart from making your guest feel comfy and thereby slowing the rise of insanity on the station, there are a few ways to activly help:

• Give other departments useful things
  • Get rid of that meddling monkey and hand it to the chef for extra meat.
  • Give the cook any cakehats in the bar
  • Do NOT hand the Clown any glitter-grenades you might have in the back.
  • Mix and hand out useful drinks
• Secure any dangerous items lying around in your bar. This includes any drugs, tools and russian-roulette-revolvers, unless you do not mind calling the Janitor once in a while over people blowing their brains out.
• Be a doctor in disguise
  • Dizziness, Drowsiness etc.: Coffee / Tea / Tonic Water
  • Brute: Cream / any kind of milk from the cook
  • Burn: Tomato Juice
  • Toxic: Lime Juice
  • Suffocation: Orange Juice
  • Radiation: Vodka
  • Critica Injuries: Hearty Punch
• Be vigilant
  • Sometimes People will be knocking on the Cook's door (a Janitor for example). Yelling at the chef definitly helps, sparing people the hassle to loop around to the counter to get his attention.
  • Take note when someone is ordering something very specific, like 3 glasses of Cuba Libre (Heals Space Communists Revolutionaries). Try not to metagame it (such as telling security right away), but you might remember such details when shit hits the fan. Of course you can go full secret-police and write down all ordered drinks and ask for sperm-samples but that might be overkill after all.
  • Call the Detective / Security on people that give you morphine or drugs. The person doing this has a plan (except the Clown, I mean, does he look like he has a plan?) to make you drug and poison the whole station, which is a big NO-NO according to Nanotransen-Regulations. Nobody likes a tattletale, but we must do our best to benefit our capitalist overlords.
  • Watch your guests. Especially when the Cook tries to drag a passed-out crewmember into the back of his kitchen. You might want to carry people to medical if they drank enough to kill an elephant.
• Bring some drinks for the emergency shuttle, preferable those with healing-properties

Preparing yourself

It rarely hurts coming prepared, so here are a few suggestions of what you could do.

Before the shift

• Think about which name to choose for your bar. No name - no fame.
• Decide on how you want to roll. Do you prefer high-society or do you consider yourself a pubowner?
• Make a list of drinks for indecisive guests. It never hurts knowing how to mix a couple of drinks right off the bat. You could even go with a theme
  • Y-shaped glasses: Manhattan, Classic Martini, Allies Cocktail, ...
  • U-shaped glasses: Anti-Freeze, Arnold Palmer, Bacchus Blessing, Bloody Mary, ...
  • V-shaped glasses: Black Russian, White Russian, Wiskey Sour, ...
  • Beerglasses: Green Beer, Iced Beer, Irish Car Bomb, Snow White
  • Fancy looking drinks: Wizz Fizz, Triple Citrus, Syndicate Bomb, Sbiten, ...
• If you want to take the extra step, take a note of what you would need for some special drinks and where to get it
  • Acid Spit: Sulphuric Acid (Chemist)
  • Aloe: Watermelon Juice (Botanist)
  • Bacchus Blessing: Welder Fuel (Toolstorage), Universal Enzyme (Cook)
  • Crevice Spike: Capsaicin (Hot Sauce from Cook)
  • ...

Your first minutes after shift-start

1. Max your suit-sensors
2. Remove any valuable / dangerous items from the bar
3. Name your bar
4. Put on a hat
5. Drag the Beer-Locker out of your backroom, after removing any non-beer-items of course. Some put it in the lobby for people to access it freely.
6. Get any bottles you would need for mixing (like Cognac) from the Booze-O-Mat and put them in your backpack.
7. Ask the Cook / Botanist for ingredients you intend to use later. This does not only include milk, but anything juicable like bananas, too.

Tipps

What mistakes to avoid

This is a list of things I learned myself, sometimes the hard way.

• Be careful about filling your bar with drinks. People can make a mess by trowing them around or even worse: Drinkspike them when you are busy / away.
• Do not leave your bar unattended if possible. A bar-tenderless bar invites to all kinds of shenanigans. You never know when you will get customers. If you need to get anything yourself (like a lighter for Hearty Punch), do it immediately and quick.
• Always interrupt what you are doing to greet a new guest, except if you are mixing a drink that was ordered. Nobody likes to be ignored by the Bartender.
• Don't let random people put drinks on your counter. Check them for drugs / toxins.
• You can and will be held responsible for handing out dangerous drinks like Bacchus Blessing or if you fail to properly mix drinks that contain excess uranium. That is if somebody finds out...

Neat little things

Human Controlled Pun Pun!

Is that NPC Pun Pun too boring for you? Well now you can turn someone into Pun Pun! First take Pun Pun to genetics and get him scanned in those fancy machines. You want to scan UI+UE and SE. Inject the victim willing participant with the SE first and wait til he becomes a monkey. Second inject him with the UI+UE and tada! Player controlled Pun Pun. Take him back to the bar and have him dance on the table tops for space cash. The old Pun Pun can be given to the Cook to quench the evil desires of that wretched machine of his. If you want to communicate with the new Pun Pun be sure to get a pAi. If your monkey friend is too quick to leave you don't fret! Monkeys can be handcuffed, so just handcuff him to chair. Now he can NEVER LEAVE!

Other things

• If someone orderes a plain glass of milk, ask them whether cream is okay. Most likely your guest is just trying to heal some brute damage, and cream does work for that as well.
• Of all Booze-O-Mat drinks you will need the Cognac most often. I like to get one and keep it in my backpack.
• Giving Nar'sour to indecisive guests will prevent them of complaining about your drink (causes them to slur in cult-phrases).
• If you need to give other departments stuff, give them a call over the radio or have some trustworthy person deliver it for you, while they are at it. Assistants, Janitors and members of neighbouring departments are the best for that. Or if you are busy/lazy, you can just leave it at the bar for anyone to grab.
• Let the Cook fill you anything into a condiment bottle. Empty it and reuse it as a pipette for any substance as it has a 1u-setting.
• There are quite a few drinks with special effects - Experiment and mix them all into an omni-cocktail!

How to help a Bartender

So you are working in another job and want to assist? Well, here is your chance: Ask the bartender whether he needs any ingredients you can provide. Or just drop of some stuff and hope he knows what to do. Even Assistants can help by fetching freely available stuff.

• Assistants: Offer fetching- and delivery-services. Examples:
  • One or two green crayons from Artist Supply near the Toolstorage
  • At least 50u Welding Fuel from the toolstorage for making some sweet Hooch
  • Help hacking the Booze-O-Mat
  • Maybe you find some way to get a lizard-tail for making some wine
• Botanists: Provide drink-relevant fruit (watermelon, parsnip, banana, mimana, ...), preferably already juiced
• Chemists: If the Bartender seems trustworthy and competent, offer him some very specific things
  • An empty syringe
  • Sulphuric Acid
  • Silver
  • Cryoxadone
  • Nitrous Oxide
• Cook
  • 10u Universal Enzyme in a separate condiment bottle
  • Milk / Soy Milk
  • Egg Yolk
  • Hot Sauce
  • Black Pepper
• Mime: Nothing, as usual
• Chaplain: Holy water
• Service Cyborg
  • Premium drink-delivery with all-access
  • Any fetch-quests that require a bit of trust
  • Sweet banana juice
  • Unlimited glasses and appetisers

Please do keep in mind that inexperienced barkeepers might not use the provided ingredients and could have them stolen after putting them on the counter. Also giving morphine / 100u of Sulphuric acid might end badly for the whole crew if the barkeeper feels antagonistic.

Traitoring - Serving up a cool glass of pain

Traitor barman has it hard. You only start with Bar access. If you're not in the bar when someone inevitably shows up, expect them to try to break in or call attention to your absence.

Your Injector

You have one advantage in that you spawn with a potentially lethal weapon nearby, voiding the need for a revolver or similar item. You'll need the QM or a Cargo Technician's help to get lethal shells, however. They can use your shotgun to bust open locked crates, so see if you can't strike a mutually beneficial deal with them. Use of an emag and your shotgun may help you for assassinations. It is best to stay around the bar as much as you can, as you will look suspicious if a million people want a drink at the bar.

With a Poison Kit and some Shotgun Darts from Cargo, your shotgun becomes one of the deadliest weapons on the station, with a 1-shot kill that deals upwards of 150 toxin damage in less than 30 seconds

• Combining Formaldehyde, Venom, and Polonium to a 1:1 ratio will create an incredibly lethal dart that will absolutely destroy anybody without Antitoxin
• Combining other chemicals like (Itching Powder and Histamine) will give you a brutal followup that almost entirely prevents self-treatment due to the massive amount of debuffs and damage being caused
• Even without darts, the toxins kit is incredibly strong - 5u of Polonium is very lethal, as are the other chemicals

Special Service

• The Bartender's damp rag can be used to smother people. Soaking it with a chemical will transfer 5u of it, as well - Pick your toxin of choice and make them regret letting you get close with the cloth.
• Drinkspiking is a great way to do a lot of damage to your unsuspecting guest
  • Slipping a pill into a drink creates an obtrusive message, but can still be an effective way to transfer chemicals without somebody noticing. Make sure the glass isn't full!
  • Refilling beer-bottles and serving them before / while the guest orders a specific drink is quite stealthy as people can't see the content's colors and normally don't pay close attention to the taste of bottled beverages.
  • The drink will have the look and name of the first added content with the highes quantity. Mix your drink and THEN add your poison!
  • Beware of bored detectives taking drinks on the counter and having a chemist check them for drugs
  • Neurotoxin is more potent than Chloral Hydrate - If you can find a way to apply it, your victim will spend a very long time on the floor

Other things

• An Emag can make a Syndicate Café sign when used on your bartender screen... Not terribly useful but good to know, right?
• You can stun somebody with a bottle of alcohol (Any of the several in the Booze-O-Mat) provided they aren't wearing robust headgear. This also drenches them in flammable fluids - Combine with a Lighter for ignition!