Wizard

ENEMY STAFF
Wizard	Access: Wherever you can teleport to Additional Access: Not defined Difficulty: Very Hard Supervisors: Space Wizard Federation Duties: Welcome the crew to DIE. Guides: This is the guide

"This is the fucking most terrible game mode ever seriously this shit is so fucking gay" - Average complaint of a Non-Wizard.

"EI NATH!" - Average Wizard after hearing that complaint.

File:WizDen.png

The Wizard's Den

Crew members of SS13, I offer you my sincerest greetings. My name is of no matter, but if you must call me something, you may call me The QuarterWizard. I would like to inform you that I am the noble leader of the Wizards Federation.

You may be wondering, "Why, why mighty QuarterWizard, why do you send wizards to the station to destroy us all?"

Well, denizen of the station, it's quite simple really: One or more of your crew has angered our magical Federation, and now you will all pay the price.

If you're lucky enough to only have certain members of the crew anger us, like that geneticist who once claimed that us magical folk are merely "products of genetics research", then you're more than likely to survive, assuming you give our wizard the means to escape early on. If not, well... Not even I, the mighty QuarterWizard can guarantee your safety. We train our wizards to be masters of many spells, so there is no saying how exactly you will succumb to our mighty wizards.

But, for you lesser beings, I have archived a list of our most common spells, so as to assist you simpletons in identifying just how skilled and varied our wizards can be.

Dress to Kill

If you are a Wizard, then remember to keep your gear on. Not only are they the latest in wizarding fashion, they are also a powerful magical amplifier. That's the Wizard's Hood, Robes, and Sandals. If you lose those, you are in a boatload of trouble.

Do everything in your power to keep your skirt on. Hurl spells, throw rocks, shout hurtful names at them. Whatever you do, don't let them touch the clothes.

Preparation

Use the Wizard's Den you start in to familiarize yourself with the spells before you teleport onto the station. You can even re-learn the spells as often as you'd like as long as you're here. Take your time. No need to jump in right away.

Min-Maxing

You can take any of your spells multiple times to upgrade them, generally giving them a lower cooldown.

Quartermaster Costume Party

If you can, masquerade as a Quartermaster Supply Wizard. Not only will you look like the most powerful wizard of all time, but people may be liable to turn a blind eye to your presence. Combine this with some quick spellwork and you may just kill a bunch of people without getting caught.

Robed Spells

These spells require the Wizard's POWERFUL, MYSTICAL ROBES. So wizards, for your own sakes, never take off your robes.

Spell name	Invocation	Description
Magic Missile	FORTI GY AMA!	The bread and butter of most wizards. This spell summons little magical orbs that deal light damage, and stun all within sight. While slow, the orbs track their targets, making there be no escape.
Ethereal Jaunt	N/A	After casting this spell the wizard dissolves into thin air, becoming invisible to both eye and thermal sensors, as well as being able to pass through any obstacle. This spell lasts for several seconds.
Teleport	SCYAR NILA!	Instantly transports a space wizard to any location he pleases, as long as it's within range (the Z-level you're on).
Disable Technology	NEC CANTIO!	An EMP: disables all technology within range of the spell. Be wary -- it shocks doors
Blink	N/A	A lesser form of teleportation. The wizard has no ability to control it, and it will usually send him a good distance.
Mutate	BIRUZ BENNAR!	Temporarily transforms the wizard into a superhuman being, capable of destroying walls with their massive strength, and shoot lasers using their massive minds.
Disintegrate	EI NATH!	A wizard trained in this spell should be met with extreme caution, for a single touch of his hands and a yell will, under any circumstances, result in immediate and permanent ejection of the brain and the body being splattered across the cold, metal floor of the station. Great for quickly killing someone with a extremely small chance of them being brought back to life. Complements hit and run style attacks on armed groups of crew members, great versatility and is good as a fallback spell if caught in a pinch. Can be used to kill human and cyborgs alike -- secborgs become a minor threat with this spell unless they are somehow given laser gun modules. The main disadvantage of Ei Nath is its recharge time, the fact that if more than one target is selectable a intrusive popup box will block your screen, and the fact that it will make everyone bitch at you in OOC. (tl;dr: Instant kill, slow recharge, will not make you friends among the crew.)
Flesh to Stone	STAUN EI!	This spell can turn even the angriest crew member into a comparatively calm statue. The spell will wear off eventually but is useful for neutralizing threats non-fatally or creating emergency cover. Keep in mind that when the spell wears off if the statue isn't in good shape anymore the crew member won't be either. Instead of gibbing the target and leaving a Brain it turns the target into a solid Statue. However after a certain amount of time the Statue will revert back to the original target. By itself it's just a gimmick -- players turned into stone won't count as dead for objective purposes. However when this spell is paired with the "Staff of Animation" this becomes a spell even more devastating than Ei Nath or Fireballs. (tl;dr: Use it with a Staff of Animation or just use Ei Nath.)
Summon Guns	N/A	This spell is unique in that it can be used only once. Summons a random weapon at everyone's feet and releases the inhibitions of several crew members, triggering several murderous rampages.
Summon Magic	N/A	This spell grants the crew an assortment of various trinkets from the legendary wizard self storage box. The assortment is wide and varies wildly in usefulness, but some normal people just aren't ready for the intense responsibility of wielding magic.
Summon Events	N/A	This spell replaces all random events with an assortment of magical wizard events, from cursed items to random name-swaps to LAVA FLOORS and more! Subject the station to a storm of mass chaos! The more times you cast Summon Events, the more often they will occur.
Summon Carp	NOUK FHUNMM SACP RISSKA!	This spell conjures a simple carp.

Robeless Spells

There are many other spells that do not require THE EXTRA MIGHT of a magic wizard robe. These spells are weaker, but nothing to laugh at. They are as follows:

Spell name	Invocation	Description
Fireball	ONI'SOMA!	This spell summons a destructive fireball. Fireballs travel in a straight line and detonate when adjacent to an individual or animal or if they directly hit an object, blinding and deafening the target and anyone around him, as well as dealing tremendous damage and usually knockdown. Two direct hits will kill most targets, and as Fireball has a somewhat quick recharge time, a Wizard can lay down heavy damage down a hallway. The drawback is that, as fireballs are explosive, they will damage you and the station as well, and novice Wizards can easily kill themselves with this spell if the fireball hits an object in front of them. It may not be a bad idea to pick up a Gem Hardsuit if using this spell, so if you do hit yourself you'll take very little damage and suffer no damage from being on fire. (tl;dr: Powerful spell in the right hands, finicky to use. Remember to double tap. Don't fireball yourself.)
Knock	AULIE OXIN FIERA!	Opens any doors within range, no matter what type.
Forcewall	TARCOL MINTI ZHERI!	Prevents the simpletons from traveling over a certain spot. For example: the airlock leading to your precious escape shuttle.
Smoke	N/A	A shroud of shadows for the magic user. It'll grant him immediate cover in the darkness.
Blind	STI KALY!	This verbal spell blinds an individual.
Mind Swap (aka Mind Transfer)	GIN'YU CAPAN!	The incantation is only heard by few, and only few survive after the spell's words are uttered. It swaps the minds of the wizard and victim, and is used if the wizard is being beaten in a physical battle. Mindswap targets will be unconscious for quite some time.
Horsehead Curse	KN'A`FTAGHU,`PUCK`'BTHNK!	This strange spell conjures an cursed horse mask on your victim's face, rendering them incapable of coherent speech. Anyone unfortunate enough to be targeted with this spell cannot remove the mask without the help of chemistry and can only communicate with obnoxious horse noises. For when you just don't give a fuck.
Charge	DI'RI CEL!	This spell is useful for recharging magical artifacts that typically run dry after a few shots. They've also been used in the past by enterprising wizards to recharge other things like energy weapons, spellbooks, and even other wizards! Care should be used in over-reliance on this ability though, as magical items tend to run down if repeatedly recharged.
Summon Creature Swarm	IA IA!	This spell tears the fabric of reality, allowing horrific daemons to spill forth.
Artificer	N/A	This spell conjures a construct which may be controlled by Shades.

Artifacts

These are not spells but tools that can be used by anyone. Extremely dangerous to a wizard should one of the crew members pick them up.

Icon	Artifact name	Description
	Staff of Change	Allows the wizard to randomly change anyone and anything into an alien, slime, lizardman, metroidman, cyborg, Syndicate cyborg, monkey, or more! Although it has limited uses, it recharges its magic over time.
	Staff of Animation	A deadly weapon for a wizard who likes to steamroll their opposition. The staff of animation will shoot a bolt that brings whatever object it hits (besides complex machinery, tables or windows) to life. The animated object will then move and attack everyone in range but the person who spawned it (which is hopefully you). It has limited uses but recharges its magic over time. In combination with the Flesh to Stone spell, the Staff of Animation can be used to create player-controlled statues. These statues have a wide selection of unique powers (of the "MY EYES!" variety), are near-invincible and receive explicit instructions to not harm or kill the Wizard. However, these statues may also blind you. (tl;dr: Powerful, especially when paired with Flesh to Stone, until some chucklefuck steals the staff and sends the station infrastructure after YOU.)
	Staff of Door Creation	Works the same as the wand of door creation. There is apparently demand for this! Charges faster and can hold more shots than other staves.
	Staff of Chaos	Shoots random magic bolts. Charges faster and can hold more shots than other staves.
	Wand Assortment	A belt that comes of one of each useful wand, generated with the highest number of shots possible. Includes: File:Wand of death.gif Wand of Death: Can and will kill anything instantly. Nasty, nasty stuff. Wand of Healing: This wand uses healing magics to heal the living and revive the dead. Rarely utilized within the Wizard Federation, for some reason. Wand of Polymorph: For when you just need a change. Be careful if using on yourself, as many potential forms lack arms to wield the wand! Wand of Teleportation: Will rip up and scatter anyone or anything caught in its path. Unlike teleportation spells employed by the wizard, this wand makes no qualms about depositing teleportees in space, fires, or the center of a black hole. Wand of Door Creation: For when you need an easy way out. Point at a solid wall and fire -- who needs ID cards in this day and age? Wand of Fireball: Useful for burning those you don't like and everyone else too. Point away from face.
File:Bookfireball.png	Single Use Spellbooks	These easy to use self help books can help teach even the most magically inert subhuman a basic robeless spell. Note, however, that they have been equipped with cutting edge magical rights managements that will create nasty surprises for those who try to buy them secondhand. Spell piracy is a crime!
	Six Soul Stone Shards	A belt filled with several soulstone shards that can can be used to trap and enslave the spirits of your friends!
	Gem-Encrusted Hardsuit	Functions the same as normal wizard robes, plus being space-worthy and armored. Minor slowdown. Now you can cast spells in space and low temperature places!
File:Scryingorb.gif	Scrying Orb	Summoning this crackling orb of energy will grant you permanent X-ray vision in addition to allowing you to ghost while alive, letting you speak with any dead souls. A deceptively powerful tool for spying, essential for the elusive stealth wizard.

Faithful Apprentice

You can select an artifact contract from your spellbook which will allow you to solicit the assistance of a helpful apprentice wizard. Using this contract will select a ghost who has the wizard role enabled and spawn them as your assistant. If no ghosts are available when the contact is used, it will remain usable until one is found. If you do keep yours around note that contracts can be used by non-wizards too. If you change your mind, you can click on your spellbook with an unused contract to refund your spent spell point. When you use the contract you are able to choose from four sets of two spells for the apprentice to learn.

Destruction: Fireball + Magic Missile

Bluespace Manipulation: Jaunt + Teleport

Robeless: Knock + Mindswap

Healing: Forcewall + Charge/Staff of Healing

Once they have chosen a name, the spawned apprentice is given a set of blue robes, a single-use teleport scroll and an objective to keep you alive.

Remember that your survival is paramount! The round doesn't end if your apprentice dies, but do try to keep him alive.

The AI and You!

NOTICE: THE WIZ IS HUMAN

Usually, when you go on your long space adventure, you come across an AI.

The AI will either be nice to you and attempt to protect you from the evil crew, or it will track you the whole time, and attempt to trap you! (Luckily, you have been trained by the greatest!) If this happens, go into the AI core, and see how he can track you while it's dead.

If you're feeling nice and don't mind being stunned a few times, you can always pop into the upload! When you get inside, take a Freeform module, pop out, and make nice law explaining how you are practically god of the station, and return to the upload, and of course, upload it!

After that, the AI will be very nice to you, and serve you, his master.

A Friendly Wizard

So, you've been made a wizard but don't feel like going on a murderboner and would rather live peacefully among the crew? No problem! The staff are usually very friendly towards wizards [CITATION VERY MUCH NEEDED] if they announce themselves to be friendly and the AI is programmed not to harm them. So pop over to the HoP escorted by the Captain/HoS and request to be part of the station! Who knows, maybe you can be the Janitor! Just remember that you are by law and backstory an enemy of Nanotrsen. Don't get mad when some magic-hating sociopath tries to kill you. They'll try.

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...Now, fearless follower of the Wizards Space Federation..

I have but one question for you, now that I revealed all this knowledge to you,

Will you be ready?

With Love,

The QuarterWizard