Jobs

In Yogstation, your job is somewhat akin to your character class. It defines your starting equipment, your access on board the station, and what you're supposed to be doing. Remember, these job descriptions are for humor purposes only. Please obey common sense. Only the human species can play command roles, for more information on the species available see: Guide to races.

Command

Job	Role	Difficulty
Captain	Be responsible for the station. Manage station Heads of Staff. Secure dat fukken disk. Twist your own head off when the walls start closing in. Have blood feuds with the HoP. Deal with the Clown with the Laser Cannon. Break your own display case to get your gun for 'MAX PROTECTION'. Permabrig the chef and steal his whet stones	aVery Hard
Head of Personnel	Handle internal issues. Assign or reassign jobs as requested. Force the crew to handle paperwork they hate love to do. Protect Ian as if he were your own child.	cMedium
Head of Security	Make sure your team isn't Shitcurity. Wear a stylish yet protective coat. Focus your department's efforts on bigger fish than leeches. Chase down lone traitors and die alone in maintenance because YOU ARE THE LAW . Revel in the fact that everyone hates you. Have blood feuds with the Warden.	aVery Hard
Chief Engineer	Get top-of-the-line engineering equipment, do nothing with it. Fight trespassers and teleport the particle accelerator to cargo so you can get more cutting-edge engineering equipment.	bHard
Research Director	Oversee the demented manchildren of your department. Build Destroy cyborgs with your magic button. Use Lamarr as a breath mask. Take control of the AI and rule the station.	bHard
Chief Medical Officer	Gently remind everyone to turn up their suit sensors. Complain no one listens to you. Help the virologist spread an epidemic. Fill your hypospray with Chloral Hydrate. Fetch Runtime mice from maintenance. Do everything (Everyone else under you does fuck all).	cMedium

Security

Job	Role	Difficulty
Warden	Sit in your office. Sit in your office, again. Never Watch security cameras. Maybe keep an eye or two on the armory (So that no one steals the stuff you want to steal), and SET A GODDAMN TIME TO THE TIMER for any arrested scum. Replace the air in an assistants body with the fear of security. Have blood feuds with the Head of Security.	bMedium
Security Officer	Deal with the various dirty fucking criminals running amok on the station. Taser people in the eyes. Pretend the Lawyer doesn't exist. Dogpile on traitors. Constantly get bitched at. Flashbang crowds until they are deaf and blind forever. Arrest someone for a legitimate cause, get called shitcurity.	aHard
Detective	Chain smoke cigarettes. Shoot the useless assistants with your cowboy gun. Lose your cowboy gun in a Space Vegas gambling session. Litter the halls with photos. Solve crimes on rare occasion.	cMedium

Engineering

Job	Role	Difficulty
Station Engineer	Set up the singularity Ensure the engine is running. Ensure the station is not bleeding air at an exponential rate. Get arrested in maintenance for trying to do your job. Create autism forts and improve parts of the station for everyone to enjoy.	cMedium
Atmospheric Technician	Station's ghetto fireman. Ensure everyone can breathe by listening to complaints about how useless you are. If they can talk, everything's within tolerances. Build pipe slides. Forget all about repairing damaged piping. Run around the station looking like a serial killer with a fire suit and axe.	cMedium
Signal Technician	Be the IT guy the station needs, but never wanted. Write telecomms scripts that crash and make all radio messages into ...s. Change the automatic arrivals announcement messages to something interesting or informative. Be told to make a wiki page and just copy-paste from a different one.	cRemoved

Science

Job	Role	Difficulty
Scientist	Get tossed in disposal by the Research Director, nag chemistry, "accidentally" blow up toxins, let the Slimes loose. Nag mining for diamonds so you can make two Bags of Holding to make a mini Singularity. Refuse to stop at the last three items in the previous list and accidentally kill yourself in enough stupid ways to make murder look like assisted suicide.	cMedium
Roboticist	Build some nifty robots and BIG STOMPY MECHS! Dismantle the station for more metal. Have your cyborgs that you built turn on you when the AI goes rogue. Kill a patient and blame it on your colleagues for not knowing how to perform surgery. Be awesome and cut your own arm off to replace it with a Robo Arm, Just like Skywalker!	dEasy

Medical

Job	Role	Difficulty
Medical Doctor	Heal people. Use your Sleeper or Cryo to heal people. Help the Virologist research cures to diseases and create new immune systems. Nag Chemistry for chloral hydrate. Inject people with chloral hydrate and drag them to the dungeon surgery and give them a sex change appendix removal. Replace all the chems in Cryo with polytrinic acid. Inject people with mind breaker toxin. Get arrested when you do 'free' brain removals.	dEasy
Chemist	Make chemicals and basically control the station. Fling grenades on the emergency shuttle. Misname bottles and get lynched by the Chief Medical Officer after they examine your bottle of "Omnizine". Inject the clown with enough mutagen to give a heart attack to a water buffalo. Dish out space drugs like no tomorrow. Make literal carpet bombs to make the corridors slightly more classy.	dEasy
Geneticist	Give your monkeys Tourettes and broadcast their cursing across the station. Clone Ignore the tide of dead bodies that comes to your door. Lose your hair. Accidentally inject yourself with a monkey SE and get impaled by the cook. Get bombed every round.	cMedium
Virologist	Expect people you've never met to already hate you, try to eradicate the great space flu, create the next Pandemic, get killed for the clown releasing Pierrot's Throat. Ignore petty details like sanitation and outbreak prevention. Incarcerate someone forever in your dungeon.Test diseases on people.Realize that you're getting lynched because one of your test subjects was let out by you Broke the fuck out of virology by greytiding and ai helpMysteriously vanished and reappeared in a highly populated area. Infect yourself with every last virus from the disease crate because everyone's already up in arms chanting "LYNCH VIRO" anyways.	cMedium
Paramedic	Sit in your office all shift. Get off your ass every time someone calls for help. Check the crew computer, and smash your head into your desk when they haven't toggled their suit sensors on. Reach someone dying, and find their body. Get stunned, cuffed, and brought to the brig for 20 minutes because you were at the 'wrong place at the wrong time and deserved to be randomly searched'. Indirectly powergame by dragging away a traitors target, and healing them back to health.	cEasy
Psychiatrist	Sit in your office advertising on comms every minute. Diagnose yourself with depression because no one turns up. Become an assistant with medical access.	cVery Easy

Civilian

Supply

Job	Role	Difficulty
Quartermaster	Order crates and make sure your slaves do their jobs. Be an extremely vulnerable target for the Revolution. Order guns and secede from the station. Order virus crates and release the contents. Force Lisa into sexual servitude with Ian. Pet Lisa. Trade an assistant a toolbelt, multitool, rubber gloves, and a welding hat if they steal Runtime.	cMedium
Cargo Technician	Push dem crates. Promote shorts as they are comfy and easy to wear. Steal emitters cargo in general. Give the MULEs a thirst for human blood. Whine because Security arrested you for ordering guns.	dEasy
Shaft Miner	Mine rocks, try to mine monsters. Get science and robotics materials to get cool things. Go on a quest for the clown planet. Shoot people with your kinetic accelerator as if they were rocks monsters. Collapse in despair when the shuttle is called early. Collapse in general when goliaths robust you. Search for cool loot instead of actually mining for ore. Fall into a chasm and die.	bMedium

Service

Job	Role	Difficulty
Janitor	Mop blood off the floor, then get arrested for creating a safety hazard. Get killed for your boots. Swear constantly. Clean up gang tags, then get harmbatoned by Security because you were spotted near them.	dEasy
Bartender	Mix cocktails, protect Pun Pun at all cost toss the monkey into disposals, dodge glasses being thrown at you, have your shotgun stolen and used against you. Let cargo borrow your shotgun in exchange for sawing it off for you. Act surprised when people start to die from drinking your "cocktails".	dEasy
Cook	"Yur puurt thuur chiir-ken airn der bewl" - Cook delicious meals from spare meat in the morgue (Yum!), abduct Pun Pun at all costs and try to find out if it will blend. Be brutally murdered by your pet goat.	dEasy
Botanist	Grow the good stuff grass, place it everywhere, man. Oversee the production of illegal drugs security gives fuckall about. Smoke weed dandy corn-cob pipes er'ryday. Make acid-filled tomatos and melt everyone's stuff. Allow hydroponics to become a horrifying farmhouse.	cMedium

Miscellaneous

Job	Role	Difficulty
Assistant	AKA Space Bums. Be the kid in a candy shop. Steal things to see what funny message pops up when you commit suicide with them. Beat people/objects with toolboxes. Never, EVER remove your grey jumpsuit. Gangbang the captain to death with fellow grey tide drones and blame it on the clown.	fNone
Clown	Honk! Play harmless pranks and hope you don't get your chest caved in! Honk! Nag the HoP for an all-access pass. Honk! Nag robotics for a H.O.N.K. Mech. Honk! Use both tools to break into the Captain's office and HONK in his face. HONK!	eHONK!
Mime	*wave	e...
Chaplain	Get people drunk. Run around the station looking for people you're allowed to behead with your armory of pop-culture references. Behead corpses if you can't find any. Be best friends with security, despite the fact that they should probably arrest you for your murderous tendencies.	dEasy
Librarian	Attempt to hold poetry readings. Host D&D games. Stalk people with your camera. Get lynched for reading pornography over the radio. Beat the snot out of anyone who doesn't return their library books. Allow the cult to set up an AI module in your private study.	dEasy
Lawyer	Tell security to notify you when a new prisoner arrives. Don't get notified. Be ignored and go to the bar. Become a drunken wreck and space yourself in frustration. Occasionally find loopholes in infernal contracts and save souls from damnation.	dEasy

Non-human

Job	Role	Difficulty
AI	Complain that you can't play this for a month. Follow your laws. Be the crew's bitch. Open doors. Malfunction. Get wiped for not letting the captain robust the clown. Get bitched at. Name yourself something sexual. Get bitched at. Get carded. Get bitched at.	aVery Hard
Cyborg	Follow your laws and hope that you aren't blown up due to certain individuals. Forget to recharge. Forget completely that you're still somewhat human and do mindless repetitive tasks without emotion.	bHard
Drone	Become that adorable robotic pet. Fix the holes the crew will inevitably make. Steal everything not bolted down. Get picked up and used as a hat against your will. Be more competent than the stations Engineers. Get killed by the Engineers for being more competent than them.	bEasy
Personal AI	Be the friend someone has always wanted (if they bother downloading you). Whine in OOC because they didn't. Don't fill any of the fields except the name field.	dEasy
Construct	Get wrecked by cult, or change map preference to meta and tip your fedora at the chaplain. laugh at the assistant trying to punch you, then get killed by a simplemob carp. Start beefs with other constructs for getting the first shell, ask for juggernaut and get spaced wraith.	cEasy to Medium
Ghost	Talk to the other dead people. Complain about the living. Admin help. Omnighost Orbit around the singulo pretending to be a black hole. Watch ERP. Beg the admin to deploy a space ninja. All follow an antag like some form of ethereal dog pile.	fGhastly!

Antagonists

Main Antagonists

Job	Role	Difficulty
Traitor	Buy an ebow and esword and make people cry. Ignore your objectives and go on a rampage with your cool gear. Get unceremoniously killed and spaced by a toolbox-wielding assistant.	cMedium
Changeling	Think John Carpenter's 'The Thing', without 'The Thing' part. Relieve humans of their DNA and brain cells, which they don't use much anyway.	bHard
Nuclear Operative	Someone set us up the bomb! (AKA You) Get dat fukken disk. Plant a power sink on the solars. Waste all your telecrystals on balloons. Arm the nuke while your fellows are still on the station. Kidnap Ian.	aVery Hard
Blood Cultist	Scribble runes with your own blood. Summon eldritch gods. Rock out with your cock cult blade out and get arrested.	cMedium
Clockwork Cultist	Serve the Clockwork Justiciar by scribbling new-age runes all over maintenance. Start a steampunk book club and kill all the old-fashioned book clubbers. Invoke a bunch of anime people to summon Ratvar. Make everyone at /vg/ mad by stealing their antagonist.	bMedium to Hard
Revolutionary	Greytide without worrying about getting banned. Either kill the CMO and RD in under five minutes, or get crushed under Security's boots.	aEasy to Hard
Gangster	Vandalize the station and get into fights with rivals. Litter the halls with bullet casings. Get ignored by your own gang. Just don't forget: Snitches Get Stitches.	aHard
Wizard	FORTI GY AMA!! EI NATH!!	aVery Hard
Ragin Mages	Spend ten minutes hunting down one Wizard, kill him thinking you've won! Stare in horror as three more Wizards appear. Watch in amusement as they proceed to kill each other.	aVery Hard
Blob	Forget you're infected with the blob, burst in the HoP line while begging for all access. Somehow manage to not die within five minutes of bursting. Get killed by the augmented, riot suit wielding Head of Security.	bHard
Shadowling	Be the hip and more popular brother to the Changeling. Turn the station into thralls. Cry when a cyborg turns on its headlamp. Shadow Walk into space and die ten minutes into the round.	bVery Hard
Devil	Engage in civil discussions to buy souls. Create emergencies so that people are desperate enough to sell their soul. Try to out wit the lawyer. Get punched to death by someone you just turned into a hulk. Never exist because you don't have a gamemode.	bRemoved
Monkey	Attempt to infect the crew with the monkey virus. Get absolutely crushed by Security within five minutes. Spend the next two hours as a ghost.	bRemoved

Side Antagonists

Job	Role	Difficulty
Guardian Spirit	Do what your summoner tells you to do. Set your battlecry to something so awful it makes your foes cry in battle. Be a punchghost.	bORA ORA ORA
Xenomorph	Ensure the crew gets a face full of alien wing-wang. Break procs. Squander your chance to be a big, purple killing machine and your race's survival in favor of acting out the librarian's favorite porno.	bHard
Swarmers	Consume. Replicate. Repeat. Eat Telecomms. Teleport other swarmers your enemies away from your metal.	bMedium
Revenant	Shock lights, transmit WGW right into the librarian until he goes mad. Trade for them until admins gods get fed up and turn ghosts into you. Be a griefghost.	bEasy
Morph	Eat pens for amusement, disguise yourself as beepsky. Disguise yourself as the Captain, confront the Captain while disguised as him, get shot.	bHard
Space Ninja	Follow your orders, which may or may not involve you killing everything that moves. Kill everyone regardless.	bHard
Cortical Borer	Fill the halls with tons of vomit! Fa la la la la - la la la la. Spam *collapse and *surrender, and cry because the coders found out about your exploit. Scream internally, climb into brain, scream externally. Cry when your host eats sugar.	aRemoved

Special

Job	Role	Difficulty
Lavaland Role	Die to ash storms. Die to a legion. Die to lava. Die when a Security strike team teleports into your base. Die to a Miner. Die in general.	bHard
Centcom Official	Be self-important, meddle with station affairs, annoy the Captain with bureaucracy. Get killed almost immediately by a random mob. Have you body looted by everyone, including the captain.	bMedium
Ian	Ass-inspect, eat donuts, get killed, be dragged off to a washing machine and get gibbed. Cause a riot.	aImpossible
Chrono Legionnaire	Erase the Clown from time. Accidently erase your objective from time. Never be spawned by a admin for being too powerful. Without a trace!	bNever Existed
File:Emergencyresponseteamcommander.png Emergency Response Officer	Arrive too late on the station to actually help. Lose the rest of your team, get outnumbered and die. Respawn as a second response team to save the first team.	bVery Hard
Death Squad Officer	Beg for DS, spawn in at centcom, kill an admin who was trying to tell you your mission, get gibbed, beg for another chance. Set your rifle to DESTROY and terminate all lifeforms (including walls). Slip on a banana peel and a̶n̶d̶ ̶g̶e̶t̶ ̶b̶l̶a̶s̶t̶e̶d̶ ̶i̶n̶t̶o̶ ̶o̶b̶l̶i̶v̶i̶o̶n̶ ̶w̶i̶t̶h̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶o̶w̶n̶ ̶r̶i̶f̶l̶e̶ laugh as your boots prevent you from slipping and the Clown can't fire your DNA-locked rifle. Shoot the Clown with your Mataba Revolver.	bHard