Random events

These are random events that occur during a game regardless of gamemode. They have a relatively low chance of occurring, and are often (but not always) accompanied by a broadcasted message from CentCom. Some may only occur after so much time has elapsed during a round.

The weight stands for how likely an event is to show up. A higher weight gives it a higher chance of occurring, and a lower weight gives it a lower chance of occurring.

Unremarkable Events

Aurora Caelus

A harmless cloud of ions is approaching your station, and will exhaust their energy battering the hull. Nanotrasen has approved a short break for all employees to relax and observe this very rare event. During this time, starlight will be bright but gentle, shifting between quiet green and blue colors. Any staff who would like to view these lights for themselves may proceed to the area nearest to them with viewing ports to open space. We hope you enjoy the lights.

The space around the hull glows with varying shades of green and blue as the ions batter themselves against the station.

Minimum round time: 5 minutes

Weight: 1

Maximum Occurrence: 1

Camera Failure

One or two random cameras around the station will be deactivated.

Minimum round time: 20 minutes

Weight: 100

Maximum Occurrence: 20

High Priority Bounty

Central Command has issued a high-priority cargo bounty. Details have been sent to all bounty consoles.

A cargo bounty that will provide a large amount of credits becomes available to complete, viewable on bounty consoles.

Minimum round time: 10 Minutes

Weight: 20

Probabilistic Anomaly

A probabilistic anomaly has been detected near the station. Prepare for a distortion of the laws of probability.

An event that breaches the physics of reality and forces the RNG to be stuck on the same value for 2 to 10 minutes. "Random" elements of the game will become static resulting in the possibility of arcade machines dispensing the same reward or coins flipping on the same side multiple times in a row.

Weight: 10

Random Human-level Intelligence

Based on scans from our long-range sensors, we believe that one of the station's pets has developed very low level intelligence, and the ability to communicate.

Grants a ghost control over one of the station's simple animals/robots, priority placed on identifiable animals such as station pets and mulebots or beepsky among others.

Minimum round time: 20 Minutes

Weight: 10

Minor Space Dust

Spawns some high-speed space dust that can break grilles and windows on the edge of the station.

Minimum round time: 0 minutes

Weight: 200

Maximum Occurrence: 1000

Dolphin Migration

Unknown biological entities have been detected near the station, please stand-by.

Space Dolphins spawn around the station. Though initially not hostile, if provoked they will swarm their attacker. Alongside the space dolphins are a small chance for Space Manatees to spawn.

Minimum round time: 10 minutes

Weight: 15

Moderate Events

Anomalies

A random type of anomaly spawns in a random location on the station! These tend to cause bad things if left alone. So hop to it! To neutralize an anomaly, grab an analyzer from a toolbox and a remote signaling device. Scan the anomaly with the analyzer, then send the signal with the frequency shown! This will neutralize the anomaly and leave behind a core, a relatively valuable item to science.

The anomalies will move around, so a bit of hunting may be necessary if it happens to stray from its location.

Bluespace

Unstable bluespace anomaly detected on long range scanners. Expected location: [Location].

If left unchecked, it will eventually detonate, warping every object in the area into a random location. Virology may end up in space! Tech storage may suddenly appear in the security wing!

Minimum round time: 20 minutes

Weight: 5

Hyper-Energetic Flux

Localized hyper-energetic flux detected on long range scanners. Expected location: [Location].

If left alone, it will eventually erupt in a violent explosion.

Minimum round time: 20 minutes

Minimum players: 10

Weight: 20

Maximum Occurrence: 5

Gravitational

Gravitational anomaly detected on long range scanners. Expected location: [Location].

Pulls and flings objects everywhere nearby.

Minimum round time: 20 minutes

Weight: 20

Maximum Occurrence: 5

Pyroclastic

Pyroclastic anomaly detected on long range scanners. Expected location: [Location].

Creates plasma fires!

Minimum round time: 20 minutes

Weight: 20

Maximum Occurrence: 5

Vortex

Localized high-intensity vortex detected on long range scanners. Expected location: [Location].

The rarest of the bunch. Consumes objects and creates hull breaches. Nasty! It's even more rarer now that it has been discontinued until further notice.

Minimum round time: 20 minutes

Minimum players: 20

Weight: 5

Maximum Occurrence: 2

Brand Intelligence

Rampant brand intelligence has been detected aboard the station. Please stand by. The origin is believed to be a [vending machine name].

One of the machine type specified in the CentCom notice has become sentient! If not stopped, it will begin to spread a virus to all other vending machines, causing them to animate and attack anything in sight!

The origin machine can be any of the vending machines on the station, from the soda machine in escape to the cigarette dispenser in the captain's office. It will shout aggressive speech at anyone nearby and launch products at anything in sight. To stop it and prevent it from infecting any other vendors, it must be either deconstructed, its wires all cut, or just simply screwdriver the panel open and flick the speaker switch to off.

Minimum round time: 20 minutes

Minimum players: 15

Weight: 5

File:Head of Personell.png Bureaucratic Error

A recent bureaucratic error in the Organic Resources Department may result in personnel shortages in some departments and redundant staffing in others.

Randomly sets the overflow role (the infinite slot one, default is Assistant) to any job in the game. You might end up wading in Wardens or drowning in Clowns.

Minimum round time: 20 minutes

Weight: 5

Maximum Occurrence: 1

Carp Migration

Unknown biological entities have been detected near the station, please stand-by.

Space carp spawn around the station. Take care and have a good weapon handy when heading out into space. And watch yourself when around windows!

Minimum round time: 10 minutes

Minimum players: 2

Weight: 15

Maximum Occurrence: 6

File:Atmos Technician.png Clogged Vents

The scrubbers network is experiencing a backpressure surge. Some ejection of contents may occur.

Air scrubbers around the station may suddenly erupt smoke clouds of chemicals and reagents. The chemicals/reagents which may be involved in this event are: plant-b-gone, blood, charcoal, space drugs, morphine, holy water, ethanol, hot chocolate, sulphuric acid, mindbreaker toxin, rotatium, pax, laughter, concentrated barbers aid, colorful reagent, dizzying solution, tiring solution, salt, beer, hair dye, white glitter, growth serum. The severity of the surge can vary, resulting in double or 2.5 times as much reagents to appear out of all vents.

Minimum round time: 20 minutes

Minimum players: 10

Weight: 10

Maximum Occurrences: 3

Communications Blackout

Ionospheric anomalies detected. Temporary telecommunication failure imminent. Please contact you*%fj00)`5vc-BZZT

Telecommunications goes down temporarily. The crew isn't often alerted of this, but the AI always is. Sometimes confused due to crew incompetence with the Ion Storm, detailed below.

Minimum round time: 20 minutes

Weight: 30

False Alarm

Plays a false alarm message for just about any other event. Fun with meteors.

Minimum round time: 20 Minutes

Weight: 20

Maximum Occurrence: 5

Disease Outbreak

Confirmed outbreak of level 7 viral biohazard aboard the station. All personnel must contain the outbreak.

Get your asses in gear, Medbay! A virus has somehow made it aboard the station. Could be the common cold, could be the confusing space retrovirus, could be the crippling brainrot, or a completely random Advanced Virus.

Due to the similar CentCom alert, expect many confused/dumb crewmen to fill communications with cries of "WHERE'S THE BLOB?" or "LYNCH VIRO."

The longer the round has gone on, the worse the virus!

Minimum round time: 20 minutes

Minimum players: 10

Weight: 5

Electrical Storm

An electrical storm has been detected in your area, please repair potential electronic overloads.

A bunch of lights short out in a general area on the station. Annoying at best. But at least it gives the janitor something to do other than mop blood trails.

Minimum round time: 10 minutes

Minimum players: 5

Weight: 15

Flutes

1 person per ten people are chosen for this event and given one punishment. A few punishments include; brief periods of blurred vision, faint voices, intense headaches and nigh terminal brain damage.

Minimum players: 30

Weight: 1

Max Occurrences: 1

Grid Check

Abnormal activity detected in the station's powernet. As a precautionary measure, the station's power will be shut off for an indeterminate duration.

Shuts down all APCs station-wide for 30 to 120 seconds, with the exception of Engineering. Usually leads to station-wide looting once Assistants crowbar open airlocks. Can be fixed early by hitting the APC's "Reset" button.

Minimum round time: 20 Minutes

Weight: 10

Maximum Occurrence: 3

Gravity Systems Failure

Warning: Failsafes for the station's artificial gravity arrays have been triggered. Please be aware that if this problem recurs it may result in formation of gravitational anomalies. Nanotrasen wishes to remind you that the unauthorised formation of anomalies within Nanotrasen facilities is strictly prohibited by health and safety regulation A: Sub-clause C.

Causes the Gravity Generator to stop functioning, leaving the station without gravity for 80 to 120 seconds. Can be fixed early by turning the Gravity Generator's APC on and off.

Weight: 15

Immovable Rod

What the fuck was that?!

Something of a humorous physics joke, an immovable rod will travel through the station in a straight line causing reasonable amounts of damage to the structure and killing anybody unfortunate to be in its path. They take some time to travel through the station, make an immense amount of noise, and as such are avoidable to players with quick reflexes. They will often open up secure areas, resulting in looting. If an Immovable Rod's path includes the arrivals shuttle, or any of the escape pods, you will find out what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object.

Minimum round time: 20 minutes

Minimum players: 15

Weight: 10

Maximum Occurrence: 5

Immovable Duck

What the duck was that?! Something of a humorous DUCK joke, an immovable DUCK will travel through the station in a straight line causing reasonable amounts of damage to the structure and killing anybody unfortunate to be in its path. They take some time to travel through the station, make an immense amount of noise, and as such are avoidable to players with quick reflexes. They will often open up secure areas, resulting in looting. If an Immovable DUCK's path includes the arrivals shuttle, or any of the escape pods, you will find out what happens when an unstoppable DUCK meets an immovable object.

Weight: 2

Maximum Occurrence: 1

Ion Storm

Ion storm detected near the station. Please check all AI-controlled equipment for errors.

All AIs aboard the station are uploaded with a random, glitched law! These new laws have random symbols for numbers, and thus are listed as the highest priority laws. New AI laws can range from bizarre and humorous to outright dangerous. A few examples include "CARGO REQUIRES THE STATION'S UNDERWEAR," "THE STATION IS HAPPIER WITHOUT VIPERS," and "JOHN SMITH IS A XENO." This sometimes results in someone having to reset the AI.

Ion storms can also cause the order of laws to be rearranged. Have fun with an AI that doesn't have "you may not harm a human" as priority #1!

Even better, Ion storms can sometimes replace laws or even whole lawsets.

Minimum round time: 20 minutes

Minimum players: 2

Weight: 15

Maximum Occurrence:

Major Space Dust

The station is passing through a debris cloud, expect minor damage to external fittings and fixtures.

Spawns small meteors that can cause trouble. Like minor space dust, but stronger.

Weight: 8

Mass Hallucination

Everyone shares a hallucination! Doesn't even have a CentCom notice. Might result in mass panic due to an imaginary delta alert notice.

Minimum round time: 20 minutes

Minimum players: 1

Weight: 10

Maximum Occurrences: 2

Meteor Wave

Catastrophic

Meteors have been detected on collision course with the station.

The most devastating form of meteors, a catastrophic meteor wave can deal heavy damage to your station and its crew. It will annihilate almost anything it comes into contact with, and if aimed properly can deal devastating damage to your engine.

Minimum round time: 20 minutes

Minimum players: 25

Weight: 1

Maximum Occurrence: 3

Normal

Meteors have been detected on collision course with the station.

Meteors begin to spawn on the outer edges of the map, hurling across space! These are capable of dealing heavy damage, if not instantly annihilating anything they collide with. Capable of even releasing the singularity with a few bad hits!

Minimum round time: 20 minutes

Minimum players: 10

Weight: 4

Maximum Occurrence: 3

Meaty

Meaty ores have been detected on collision course with the station.

Like meteors, but with meat and gibs instead of minerals.

Minimum round time: 20 minutes

Weight: 4

Maximum Occurrence: 1

Threatening

Meteors have been detected on collision course with the station.

A more threatening version of meteors.

Minimum round time: 20 minutes

Minimum players: 20

Weight: 2

Mice Migration

Due to budget-cuts, a number of squeaking things have descended into the maintenance tunnels.

Spawns a 5-15 cable-chewing mice all over the station's maintenance tunnels. It's a good idea to send in Engineers, snakes or cat/lizardpeople.

Minimum round time: 20 Minutes

Weight: 10

Grey Tide

Gr3y.T1d3 virus detected in the station's door subroutines. Severity level of 1. Recommend station AI involvement.

All the lights in a department blow, and any cells and doors are bolted open! The AI, cyborgs and anyone with access can get the doors shut quickly, but hacking will do in a pinch.

Minimum round time: 20 minutes

Minimum players: 5

Weight: 10

Maximum Occurrence: 2

"Gr3y.T1d3 virus detected in <station name> imprisonment subroutines. Recommend station AI involvement."

All the lights in the brig blow, and all the cells and brig doors are bolted open, making a clear escape path for all inmates! The AI and cyborgs can get the doors shut quickly, but hacking will do in a pinch. Has a chance to affect a camera, which will either; EMP it, EMP-proof it or motion activate it. Can also affect keycard authenticators, which can cause maintenance to open or red alert to activate.

Processor Overload

Exospheric bubble inbound. Processor overload is likely. Please contact you*%xp25)`6cq-BZZT

Blows up telecommunication processors and causes Engineers to despair as none of them know how to fix tcomms.

Minimum round time: 20 Minutes

Minimum players: 20

Weight: 15

Radiation Storm

High levels of radiation detected near the station. Maintenance is best shielded from radiation.

Everyone caught outside of protected zones is subject to a hefty dose of radiation. If you're particularly unlucky, you might get a bad mutation, or an extra strong radiation pulse. If you're lucky, you might get a genetic power!

Minimum round time: 20 minutes

Weight: 10

Maximum Occurrence: 1

Random Heart Attack

Unlucky spessmen get heart disease, which if it reaches stage 5, causes a heart attack. The only permanent cure for heart disease is surgery, albeit corazone can help stop the progression of heart disease. Using gym equipment will grant a hidden exercise buff that prevents heart disease for 20 minutes.

Minimum round time: 20 minutes

Minimum players: 40

Weight: 20

Maximum Occurrence: 2

Shuttle Catastrophe

The shuttle runs into some kind of horrible event, and is no longer serviceable. The station is given a new one!

Weight: 10

Shuttle Loan

CentCom takes control of the Supply Shuttle and recalls it for some purpose they state in the announcement.

Cargo Bay can decide whether they want to loan the Supply Shuttle to CentCom for 5 minutes through the Supply Shuttle Console. The station receives a nice sum of bonus cargo points if they choose to.

Minimum round time: 7 Minutes

Weight: 10

Maximum Occurrence: 1

Hijack Syndie

Cargo: The syndicate are trying to infiltrate your station. If you let them hijack your cargo shuttle, you'll save us a headache.

A number of syndicate mobs come aboard the supply shuttle when it next comes. Have security arm up to take them out and safely confiscate any weapons they bring with them.

Bonus cargo points: 10,000

Rusky Party

Cargo: A group of angry Russians want to have a party. Can you send them your cargo shuttle then make them disappear?

A number of armed and angry Russians, plus a bear or two come with the next supply shuttle. Kill them for some sweet duds!

Bonus cargo points: 10,000

Spider Gift

Cargo: The Spider Clan has sent us a mysterious gift. Can we ship it to you to see what's inside?

The next supply shuttle comes loaded with giant spiders, nasty!

Bonus cargo points: 10,000

Department Resupply

Cargo: Seems we've ordered doubles of our department resupply packages this month. Can we send them to you?

The next shuttle comes loaded with a variety of free goodies. Sweet! (Does not include extra points. Dang.)

Bonus cargo points: 0

Antidote Needed

Cargo: Your station has been chosen for an epidemiological research project. Send us your cargo shuttle to receive your research samples.

The next shuttle comes with human corpses ridden with various viruses, to be used for the benefit of science or traitoring. May also include virus culture bottles.

Bonus cargo points: 10,000

Pizza Delivery

Cargo: It looks like a neighbouring station accidentally delivered their pizza to you instead.

You get a bunch of free pizzas! May or may not include a pizza bomb.

Bonus cargo points: 0

It's Hip To

Cargo: One of our freighters carrying a bee shipment has been attacked by eco-terrorists. Can you clean up the mess for us?

The shuttle will contain a number of toxic bees. Bee careful not to get stung!

Bonus cargo points: 20,000

Syndicate Bomb

Cargo: We have discovered an active Syndicate bomb near our VIP shuttle's fuel lines. If you feel up to the task, we will pay you for defusing it.

The shuttle will contain a live explosive. Do not call this unless you can safely evacuate the area.

Bonus cargo points: 45,000

Spawn Morph

Spawns a player-controlled morph.

Minimum round time: 30 minutes

Weight: 5

Spawn Space Dragon

It appears a lifeform with magical traces is approaching the station, please stand-by.

Spawns a player-controlled space dragon.

Minimum round time: 70 minutes

Minimum players: 20

Weight: 8

Maximum Occurrence: 1

Space Vines

A plant which spreads extremely rapidly around the station. Space vines will grow thicker with time, first getting thick enough to block vision, then capable of entangling people. You can resist entanglement, but it is safer to avoid the vines. Fire doors and windows will stop their growth until someone opens them, but airlocks won't. If in an open area, the vines will continue to expand until they engulf every space not blocked off! Space vines will always spawn in maintenance.

To fight the vines:

• Drag a goat, either Pete or one ordered from cargo into the vines. It'll eat any vine it passes into, and even quickly consume them on its own so long as there's any nearby.
• A scythe from a weed control crate is effective, along with any sharp implement.
• Plant-b-gone spray from botany and weedkiller grenades from cargo are also good options.
• Fire will also kill certain vines dead. Welders are recommended sources of burn damage instead of, oh I don't know, a flamethrower.

Minimum round time: 20 minutes

Minimum players: 10

Weight: 15

Maximum Occurrences: 3

Spontaneous Appendicitis

Even spacemen have to deal with appendicitis sometimes!

Minimum round time: 10 minutes

Minimum players: 5

Weight: 20

Maximum Occurences: 4

Spontaneous Brain Trauma

Sometimes your brain goes a little wrong. Easily cured traumas have a more common chance of occurring. As a wise man once said: "Didn't make sense not to live for fun, your brain gets smart, but your head gets dumb."

Minimum round time: 20 minutes

Weight: 25

Stray Cargo Pod

Stray cargo pod detected on long-range scanners. Expected location of impact: Location.

A cargo pod containing a random cargo supply pack crash-lands on a random spot on the station. Expect people to go ham and trespass into the Cap's Quarters for a box of riot shields or potted plants.

Minimum round time: 10 minutes

Weight: 20

Maximum occurrence: 4

Wormholes

Space-time anomalies detected on the station. There is no additional data.

Wormholes start appearing randomly around the station for several minutes. Going into one of these wormholes will teleport you to a random location. Sometimes you might be lucky enough to wind up somewhere good. Sometimes you might find yourself out in the middle of space.

If you have no intention of taking the gamble, you should move around the station in Walk mode. Wormholes that spawn directly on you will not warp you, so remaining perfectly still will ensure your safety. But take care not to let some chucklefuck push you into one!

Minimum round time: 20 minutes

Minimum players: 2

Weight: 2

Maximum Occurrences: 3

Revenant

Spawns a Revenant on station.

Minimum round time: 20 minutes

Minimum players: 5

Weight: 10

Major Events

Floor Cluwne

Spawns a floor cluwne.

Minimum players: 20

Weight: 10

Portal Storm: Syndicate Shocktroops

Massive bluespace anomaly detected en route to the station. Brace for impact.

A bunch of green portals start appearing on the station, spawning syndicate shocktroops.

Minimum round time: 30 minutes

Minimum players: 15

Weight: 2

Spider Infestation

Unidentified lifesigns detected coming aboard the station. Secure any exterior access, including ducting and ventilation.

A number of spiderlings, along with a good chance of their mother spawn aboard the station. The babies will eventually grow into adult giant spiders, so smash them while they're vulnerable!

Minimum round time: 20 minutes

Minimum players: 15

Weight: 5

Maximum Occurrence: 1

Abductors

Spawns an abductor team that will kidnap and experiment on the crew. Requires a minimum of 2 willing players.

Minimum round time: 20 minutes

Minimum players: 20

Weight: 12

Maximum Occurrence: 1

This will not occur during Nuke ops, Wizard, or Revolution.

Alien Infestation

Unidentified lifesigns detected coming aboard the station. Secure any exterior access, including ducting and ventilation.

One or more player controlled alien larva spawn in random locations aboard the station.

Minimum round time: 20 minutes

Minimum players: 10

Weight: 5

File:Wizard.png Bad Wizard

Spawns a wizard federation diplomat that, instead of spawning with a spellbook, spawns with a pre-set loadout of spells.

Minimum players: 20

Weight: 5

Blob

Confirmed outbreak of level 5 biohazard aboard the station. All personnel must contain the outbreak.

A Blob spawns in a random location on the station. This will prevent the emergency shuttle from leaving until it is either destroyed or kills everyone on station. If it gets out of hand, hightail it to a teleporter or the mining shuttle.

Minimum round time: 20 minutes

Minimum players: 25

Weight: 8

Max Occurance: 1

Devil

A player will be randomly chosen to turn into a devil. This random event has been discontinued until further notice.

Minimum round time: 20 minutes

Minimum players: 20

Maximum Occurrence: 0

Lone Operative

This event spawns a single Nuclear Operative around the station in space, with the objective of activating the nuke. This random event has been discontinued until further notice, any Lone Ops seen are explicitly bussed by an admin.

Weight: 0

Max Occurrences: 1

Chance of occurrence: Dependent on round events

Space Ninja

A Space Ninja spawns. 'nuff said here.

Minimum round time: 40 minutes

Minimum players: 15

Weight: 10

Maximum Occurrence: 1

Obsession Awakening

A random player will get traitor objectives centered around another crew member. Note that this only occurs to human station crew, and will not occur in say, an ashlizard.

Minimum players: 20

Weight: 10

Maximum Occurances: 1

Space Pirates

Incoming subspace communication. Secure channel opened at all communication consoles.

The station receives a communication extorting current station funds (80% of ya'rr points to be exact!). If they answer yes, the money is just gone and nothing of interest happens.

If the station refuses to pay or is silent for 2 minutes, a pirate shuttle arrives somewhere in space.

Pirates can activate the Data Siphon - a device that steals station funds and shuts down RnD servers as well as the cargo shuttle. However, this reveals the pirate shuttle with a GPS beacon.

Minimum round time: 30 minutes

Minimum players: 10

Weight: 8

Maximum Occurrence: 1

Will not occur during Nuke ops.

Slaughter Demon

Spawns a Slaughter Demon on station.

Minimum round time: 1 hour

Minimum players: 20

Sentient Disease

Spawns a Sentient Disease on station.

Minimum round time: None

Spawn Fugitives

Spawns a team of Fugitives in a random spot in Maintenance, with no access and a single toolbox to hack around with. After 10 minutes, a team of Hunters, with basic access, is spawned in through a shuttle, and is assigned to capture the fugitives.

Minimum round time: 30 minutes

Minimum players: 20

Spawn Nightmare

Spawns a sentient Nightmare.

Minimum round time: 45 minutes

Minimum players: 30

Maximum Occurrence: 1

Swarmers

Our long-range sensors have detected an odd signal emanating from your station's gateway. We recommend immediate investigation of your gateway, as something may have come through.

Spawns a Swarmer shell on station.

Minimum round time: 30 minutes

Minimum players: 15

Weight: 8

Maximum Occurrence: 1

Wizard Events

These events replace the regular events when the wizard casts Summon Events.

Special Events	Prompt	Effects	Chance
Advanced Darkness	Warning: Your eyes hurt... a vignette settles in your vision and closes in. Start: This isn't your average everday darkness... this is advanced darkness! End: At last, the darkness recedes.	Restricts the vision of affected mobs to a single tile in the cardinal directions. Flashlights, normal lights, they all do jack when you're trapped in Rock Bottom.	Low
Blobies	None	Some corpses turn into non-sentient Blob Zombies which are non-infectious.	Average
Change Faces	None	All sentient beings (including the wizard) swap their faces randomly	High
Change Minds	None	All sentient beings (except for the wizard) swap their minds randomly. An assistant can have his mind swapped with the captain, antags are carried along with the mind, but if you're a changeling, you're sort of boned.	Very Low
Change Places	None	All sentient beings swap places randomly (if they are in the station)	Low
Cursed Items	None	Cursed Katanas, Fake Wizard Robes, LSD Laced Cigarettes, Boxing Gloves, Luchador Masks, Chameleon Masks, and Cat Ears are distributed among the crew	Average
Ghost	You suddenly feel extremely obvious...	Ghosts are now visible to the crew.	Average
Greentext	The mythical greentext appear at your feet! Pick it up if you dare...	Anyone who picks up the greentext gains an objective to escape alive while carrying the greentext. Problem is, the greentext is absolutely gargantuan and weighs a literal ton.	High
Imposter	None	A fake, identical body double to the real wizard spawns. Can cast fake spells to confuse and scare the crew.	Very Low
Improved Casting	None	The cooldown of a single spell for the Wizard is decreased as if that spell had been taken again.	Average
Invincible	None	A random Human is injected with 40 units of adminordrazine, making them invincible for 100 ticks	Average
Lava	Warning: You feel the ground beneath you getting hot. Waves of heat distort the air. Start: The floor is lava! Get on top of something! End: The ground cools and returns to its usual form.	The ground turns into surprisingly cool lava, lightly damaging anything on the floor. Flood the station with plasma for optimal effect.	Low
Magicarp	Unknown magical entities have been detected near [station_name()], please stand-by.	Magicarps and Chaos Magicarps are spawned around the station	Very Low
Petsplosion	None	The bane of every HOP, animals around the station start to randomly gib	Low
Possession	You suddenly feel a welling of new spooky powers...	Ghosts become visible to the crew, and can possess objects and spook people	Low
Race	You feel somehow... different?	Everyone turns into a random different species. Very unfortunate if you happen to turn into a Plasmaman.	Low
RPG Loot	None	All items get a snazzy little pronoun which either buffs or nerfs the item. Items can be buffed by using an item fortification scroll.	Average
Robeless Casting	None	The wizard can now cast all of his spells without any of his robes.	Low