Jobs: Difference between revisions

In /tg/station 13, your job is somewhat akin to your character class. It defines your starting equipment, your  [[identification_card|access]] on board the station, and what you're supposed to be doing. Remember, these job descriptions are for humor purposes only. Please obey common sense and [[Space Law|Space Law]].

== Useful Links ==

* [[Guides]]

* [[Rules]]

* [[Job selection and assignment]]

== Command ==

== Security ==

|Make sure your team isn't [[Shitcurity]]. Wear a stylish yet protective coat. Focus your department's efforts on bigger fish than [[Clown|leeches]]. Chase down lone traitors and die alone in maintenance because YOU <b>ARE THE LAW</b> . Revel in the fact that everyone hates you. Carry half the Armory in your backpack. Have blood feuds with the Warden.

|Sit in your office. Sit in your office, again. <s>Never</s> Watch security cameras. Steal from the armory, then order crates to cover it up. Maybe keep an eye or two on the armory (So that no one steals the stuff you want to steal), and SET A GODDAMN TIME TO THE TIMER for any arrested scum. Have blood feuds with the Head of Security.

![[File:Generic_security.png|64px|link=Security Officer]]<br>[[Security Officer]]

|Deal with the various [[clown|dirty]] [[assistant|fucking]] [[traitor|criminals]] running amok on the station. Taser people in the eyes. Pretend the Lawyer doesn't exist. Dogpile on traitors. Constantly get bitched at. Harmbaton people to death, claim they were "resisting arrest". Flashbang crowds until they are deaf and blind forever.  Arrest someone for a legitimate cause, get called shitcurity.

!<span style="display: none;">a</span>Hard

![[File:Generic_detective.png|64px|link=Detective]]<br>[[Detective]]

|Chain smoke cigarettes. Shoot the useless assistants with your cowboy gun. Lose your cowboy gun in a Space Vegas gambling session. Litter the halls with photos. Solve crimes on rare occasion.

|}

== Engineering ==

|Fly around in space while your [[Station Engineer|subordinates]] burn down engineering, cut life-support to the station, and release the <s><b>KRAKEN</b></s> singularity.

!<span style="display: none;">b</span>Hard

![[File:Generic_engineer.png|64px|link=Station Engineer]]<br>[[Station Engineer]]

|<s>Set up the singularity</s> Get shot by the emitters, get brutally murdered on the solars by a nuclear agent, get drunk in the bar. Make telecoms unusable with scripts. Sprint past hull breaches without a second thought. Hack every machine to shoot things at people.

!<span style="display: none;">c</span>Medium

|-

![[File:Generic_atmos.png|64px|link=Atmospheric Technician]]<br>[[Atmospheric Technician]]

|Station's ghetto fireman. Ensure everyone can breathe by listening to complaints about how useless you are. If they can talk, everything's within tolerances. Build pipe slides. Forget all about repairing damaged piping. Make some bombs using the empty tanks and accidentally activate them in the hallway. Run around the station looking like a serial killer with a fire suit and axe. Release plasma into the halls.

|}

== Science ==

|Oversee the [[Scientist|demented]] [[Roboticist|manchildren]] of your department. <s>Build</s> Destroy cyborgs with your magic button. Use Lamarr as a breath mask. Take control of the AI and rule the station.

!<span style="display: none;">b</span>Hard

![[File:scientist_generic.png|64px|link=Scientist]]<br>[[Scientist]]

|Get tossed in disposal by the [[Research Director]], nag chemistry, "accidentally" blow up toxins, let the Slimes loose. Nag mining for diamonds so you can make two Bags of Holding to make a mini Singularity. Refuse to stop at the last three items in the previous list and accidentally kill yourself in enough stupid ways to make murder look like assisted suicide.

|-

![[File:Roboticist.png|64px|link=Roboticist]]<br>[[Roboticist]]

|Build some nifty robots and BIG STOMPY MECHS! Dismantle the station for more metal. Have your cyborgs that you built turn on you when the AI goes rogue. Kill a patient and blame it on your colleagues for not knowing how to perform surgery. Be awesome and cut your own arm off to replace it with a Robo Arm, Just like Skywalker!

|}

== Medical ==

! scope="col" style="background-color:lightblue;" width=200|Job

! scope="col" class="unsortable" style="background-color:lightblue;" |Role

|<s>Heal people.</s> <s>Use your Sleeper or Cryo to heal people.</s> <s>Help the Virologist research cures to diseases and create new immune systems.</s> Nag Chemistry for chloral hydrate. Inject people with chloral hydrate and drag them to <s>the dungeon</s> surgery and give them a <s>sex change</s> appendix removal. Replace all the chems in Cryo with polytrinic acid. Inject people with mind breaker toxin. Get arrested when you do 'free' brain removals.

|Make chemicals and basically control the station. Fling grenades on the emergency shuttle. Misname bottles and get lynched by the Chief Medical Officer after they examine your bottle of "Omnizine". Inject the clown with enough mutagen to give a heart attack to a water buffalo. Dish out space drugs like no tomorrow. Make literal carpet bombs to make the corridors slightly more classy.

|-

![[File:Geneticist.png|64px|link=Geneticist]]<br>[[Geneticist]]

|Give your monkeys Tourettes and broadcast their cursing across the station. <s>Clone</s> Ignore the tide of dead bodies that comes to your door. Lose your hair. Accidentally inject yourself with a monkey SE and get impaled by the cook. Get bombed every round.

!<span style="display: none;">c</span>Medium

|Expect people you've never met to already hate you, try to eradicate the great space flu, create the next Pandemic, get killed for the clown releasing Pierrot's Throat. Ignore petty details like sanitation and outbreak prevention. Incarcerate someone forever [[Virology|in your dungeon]].

|}

== Civilian ==

{| border="1" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" width="80%" style="background-color:#FFFFDD;" class="wikitable sortable"

! scope="col" style="background-color:orange;" width=200|Job

! scope="col" class="unsortable" style="background-color:orange;" |Role

! scope="col" style="background-color:orange;" width=100|Difficulty

|-

![[File:Generic_qm.png|64px|link=Quartermaster]]<br>[[Quartermaster]]

|Order crates and make sure your [[Cargo Technician|slaves]] do their jobs. Be an extremely vulnerable target for the [[Revolution]]. Order guns and secede from the station. Order virus crates and release the contents. <s>Force Lisa into sexual servitude with Ian.</s> Pet Lisa. Trade an assistant a toolbelt, multitool, rubber gloves, and a welding hat if they steal Runtime.

![[File:Generic_shaft.png|64px|link=Shaft Miner]]<br>[[Shaft Miner]]

|}

=== Service ===

|Mix cocktails, <s>protect Pun Pun at all cost</s> toss the monkey into disposals, dodge glasses being thrown at you, have your shotgun stolen and used against you. Let cargo borrow your shotgun in exchange for sawing it off for you. Act surprised when people start to die from drinking your "cocktails".

|"Yur puurt thuur chiir-ken airn der bewl" - Cook delicious meals from spare meat in the morgue (Yum!), abduct Pun Pun at all costs and try to find out if it will blend. [[Critters#Neutral|Be brutally murdered by your pet goat]].

![[File:Generic_botanist.png|64px|link=botanist]]<br>[[Botanist]]

|Grow <strike>the good stuff</strike> grass, place it everywhere, man. Oversee the production of illegal drugs security gives fuckall about. Smoke <s>weed</s> dandy corn-cob pipes er'ryday. Allow hydroponics to become a horrifying farmhouse.

!<span style="display: none;">c</span>Medium

|}

=== Miscellaneous ===

 

 

! scope="col" style="background-color:#A9A9A9;" width=100|Difficulty

| Complain that you can't play this for a month. Follow your laws. Be the crew's bitch. Open doors. Malfunction. Get wiped for not letting the [[captain]] robust the [[clown]]. Get bitched at. Name yourself something sexual. Get bitched at. Get carded. Get bitched at.

 

 

|Think John Carpenter's 'The Thing', without 'The Thing' part. Relieve humans of their DNA and brain cells, which they don't use much anyway.

|Be the hip and more popular brother to the Changeling. Turn the station into thralls. Cry when a cyborg turns on its headlamp. Shadow Walk into space and die ten minutes into the round.

|Attempt to infect the crew with the monkey virus. Get absolutely crushed by Security within five minutes. Spend the next two hours as a ghost.

|Follow your orders, which may or may not involve you killing everything that moves, proceed to kill everyone anyway.

|Do what your summoner tells you to do. Set your battlecry to something so awful it makes your foes cry in battle. Be a punchghost.

 

 

{| border="1" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" width="80%" style="background-color:#DCDCDC;" class="wikitable sortable"

 

{| border="1" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" width="80%" style="background-color:#EEEEFF;" class="wikitable sortable"

! scope="col" style="background-color:darkgreen;" width=100|Prevalence

![[File:Human.png|64px|link=Humans]]<br>[[Humans|Humans]]

![[File:Slimepeople.png|64px|link=Slimepeople]]<br>[[Slimepeople#Slimepeople|Slimeperson]]

![[File:Podman.png|64px|link=Podman]]<br>[[Podmen]]

|End up as mister potatohead after Genetics gets blown up and the Botanist is not stoned enough to forget he can clone too, but too stoned to do a good job. Forget that you photosynthesise and grow obese in the light. Start vegetating with relative ease. Remember that you're basically a walking matchstick well after you marched into a plasma fire.

|}