Guide to telescience
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Iamgoofball, porter of Telescience says: "Hello, aspiring telesciencers! Please note that if your sole intention with telescience is to grief like hell, you will find a ding dong bannu slapped on your forehead before you can say "Rhumba Beat", due to the Investigate logging added in recently. However, if you're one of the glorious antagonists of the round, feel free to BRING HELL ITSELF UPON THESE WRETCHED MASSES YOU SO DESPERATELY WISH TO MURDER AND MAIM, as your antagonist status allows you to teleport that maxcap bomb you made right onto the face of the HoP who refused to give you all access earlier, with no penalties at all! Have fun!" |
Welcome to Telescience, the room where you teleport things/people/bombs you aren't supposed to have into places said things/people/bombs aren't supposed to be, or use it for legitimate purposes.
Tha' hell is this new fangled telescience stuff that runs on that electricial-tricity?
Telescience is a single room at the south of the science department.
This area focuses on teleportation, both sending and receiving. It is equipped with a telepad, a secure room to teleport people and things in and out of, and several handheld GPS readers.
Telescience is imprecise, but potentially extremely useful. Try teleporting GPSs to see where they go, and then from there you can move objects or people back and forth from your lab. Like all science rooms, experimentation is key!
Recalibrating the machine allows for between eight and twelve successful teleports.
Holy SHIT, I WILL BE THE RULER OF SPACE AND TIME!
A word of warning. Telescience requires math. Of course, as a scientist, you have a good understanding of mathematical knowledge and projectile trajectory, right?
How to rip a hole in the Fabric of Space and Time itself to fart in the HoP's face for not granting All Accessperform useful duties.
Grab 3 handheld GPS tools. Put one on your belt, put one at your aimed coordinate (preferably in a wide, accessible area), and put one on the telepad.
Aim for the coordinate your second GPS is on (set tags for them so you know which is which) and send the telepad GPS to it.
Go to the area you sent them and see how close the machine came to being successful. Experiment to see if it is precisely as inaccurate each time. Work out if you can link specific people and coordinates. Jot everything you find down onto a piece of paper, then tell the RD you've figured everything out. Get more access from the HOP(Read: teleport out the captain's spare) so you can try sending things from mining and cargo. Have fun.
Challenges for the R.O.B.U.S.T in all of us
- Teleport a bomb onto the clown's unfunny face!
- Secure it for your fellow security members for great justice and/or "borrowing" all the chef's donuts!
- Teleport the last remaining head in a rev round into space!
- Find the remaining Bananium ore and construct a HONK mech!
- Teleport the last remaining revhead into the Execution Chamber for ""implanting"".
- Teleport around the Nuke Ops nuclear device! Bonus points if it's right after they stick in DAT FUKKEN DISK and before they input the code.
- Teleport your stealing objective to your lab for a easy greentext!
- Teleport around Ian, and hold him hostage!
- Blow up the telepad as a Malf AI to prevent bombs from being teleported onto your core!
- Teleport a bomb onto a Malf AI's core!
- Teleport a engineering cyborg straight to a hull breach!
- Teleport the shithead who IED'd your lab into LORD SINGULOTH!
- Teleport that shitface who keeps fucking with the coordinates on the console into the Toxins Burn Room!
- Teleport the WGW reader to Toxins Bomb Testing, and then teleport a Space Bear in after him!
- Be useful and teleport dead bodies to Genetics, or teleport injured crew straight to the medbay for treatment.