Guide to telescience: Difference between revisions

Guide to telescience (view source)

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 ===How to Rip a Hole in the Fabric of Space and Time Itself to [[Beyond the impossible|Perform Useful Duties]]===
-Grab 3 handheld GPS tools. Put one on your belt, put one at your aimed coordinate (preferably in a wide, accessible area), and put one on the telepad.
+Grab 2 handheld GPS tools. Put one on your belt and one on the telepad. Now, choose a console you want to use (most likely this will be the one outside the teleportation room) and click "Recalibrate". Now, you want to set the X and Y co-ordinates to 100 and 100 each. Now send that sucker! Every time the teleporter is recalibrated, the ''difference'' changes. This is the variable that determines how badly your teleporter is calibrated and how you can fuck about with maths to make it pin-point accurate! Open up your own personal GPS and take a look at where your test GPS landed.
-Aim for the coordinate your second GPS is on (set tags for them so you know which is which) and send the telepad GPS to it.
+You'll notice it didn't quite land at 100 100, did it? This is because of the slight inaccuracies of the teleporter. However! Using the test GPS you just sent, you can calculate the difference, like so! All you have to do is '''subtract the console co-ordinates (100 100) from the test number.''' Whatever comes out is your difference. Here's an example:
-Go to the area you sent them and see how close the machine came to being successful. Experiment to see if it is precisely as inaccurate each time. Recalibrating the machine allows for between thirty and fourty successful teleports. Work out if you can link specific people and coordinates. Jot everything you find down onto a piece of paper, then tell the RD when you've figured everything out. Get more access from the Head of Personnel so you can try sending things from Mining and Cargo. Have fun!
+. Test GPS Location: 93, 102
+. 100 - 93 = +7
+. 100 - 102 = -2
+. '''Difference = +7 -2'''
+Now, to overcome the inaccuracy of the teleporter, all you have to do is apply this difference to your desired co-ordinates. For example, if I wanted to get to 95 150, and I had a difference of +7 -2, I would set the console to send me to 102 148! This will in fact send me directly to my desired location, 95 150, as we have now accommodated for the inaccuracies!
+Seems simple, right? Well, sadly, every 30 or 40 teleportations (roughly) the telepad will fizzle. This means you need to start again from step one. Click recalibrate and find the difference, because that sucker just did the old switcharoo on you. Now it's miscalibrated and attempting to send anything through it would be an error of judgement at best! Usually this doesn't affect you, but it can happen at the worst of times, like when you need to recover the bomb, or bring back a teleported space explorer! Learn to recalibrate quickly, or you may end up in a heap of trouble.
+Leave handy beacons around the ship, and GPS units at interesting locations in space, and you can easily find them again. It's worth putting something down in the medbay so you can quickly send the wounded and the dead there.
 ===Challenges for the Robust in All of Us===
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 # Teleport the last remaining revhead into the Brig for ''implanting''!
 # Find the remaining Bananium ore and construct a H.O.N.K. mech for the Clown!
-# Teleport the Nuclear Device around during a Nuclear Operatives -round! Bonus points if it's right after they stick in DAT FUKKEN DISK and before they input the code!
+# Teleport the Nuclear Device around during a Nuclear Operatives -round! Bonus points if it's right after they stick in DAT FUKKEN DISK and before they input the code! Double bonus points for teleporting it to the derelict!
 # Teleport a bomb onto a malfunctioning AI's core!
 # Teleport the [[Woody's Got Wood|WGW]] reader into LORD SINGULOTH!